had children? Where would the kids sleep? He could build an addition, but would they have the money for that? Would they really be able to save enough to build on? What happens when another economic downturn happened? It wasn’t a matter of if, it was a matter of when since the economy goes up and down on roughly a twenty year cycle.
She heard the door to her apartment click closed and she crumbled to the floor, sobbing out her heartache and confusion. She loved him! Couldn’t they make it work? Maybe she could work here in Washington, D.C. during the week and fly back up to Maine each weekend. It would be expensive, but what would it be like living without Jack?
But then what happens if she got pregnant? She wouldn’t be able to travel every weekend.
She cried for the next hour, trying to figure out different ways to make a relationship with Jack work but she couldn’t come up with any answers.
Perhaps it was best if they just left things the way they were, finished. She could get over him.
Couldn’t she?
She tried very hard to put him out of her mind that afternoon. But she couldn’t seem to stop crying. She went to the grocery store to stock up on the basics, but she found herself standing in front of the milk case, leaning her forehead against the glass to hide her tears from the other customers. When she went to the post office to get more stamps, someone had to tap her on the shoulder because she’d forgotten what she was doing there.
And when she finally slumped into her apartment, she couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks any longer. She’d lost him, she thought despondently. She’d lost him because she was a fool and she couldn’t figure out how to stop herself from being so ridiculous and needing something that may or may not make her happy! And all the while, she knew that Jack made her happy on so many levels but she’d just kicked him out of her life.
Chapter 4
Rachel didn’t notice the hush surrounding her. The noise might have dissipated, but she was too wrapped up in the misery of her breakup with Jack. She’d even ignored phone calls and texts from Nikki and Brianna, unable to explain how stupid she’d been. She’d told them she was fine, but other than that, she’d kept to herself for the last twenty-four hours, unable to talk to anyone.
She should just go back to him, she told herself sternly as she stared miserably at her computer monitor. She was in love with him! Why would she even think about not being with him? He made her feel happy and she cherished every moment with him.
But then her childhood memories surged back to life. She’d hated growing up so far out in the country, being ostracized by the other kids because of her parents’ lack of money. The other kids in town had always had new clothes, fun vacations and sleepovers or parties. Rachel hadn’t had any of that which was one of the reasons she, Nikki and Brianna had connected so instantly. Those two hadn’t even had parents, but the three of them were the ones in the class wearing the dirty, torn up jeans and sneakers with broken laces or a toe sticking out. While the other kids had gone to parties, she’d had chores and hardships. Her father had worked grueling hours and people had taken advantage of him because of his kindness. Too many times people hadn’t paid for the work he’d done. And he hadn’t had any recourse to fight their illegal treatment because he’d been powerless. Even when he’d tried to hire the one attorney in the town to get some help, the lawyer hadn’t thought the cases were strong enough so legal recourse was abandoned.
She sighed, her head falling onto her open palms in confusion. On the one hand, she’d loved every moment spent in Jack’s company. On the other hand, she seriously did not want to raise her children in the same way she’d grown up.
Was there some way to find a happy medium? She worked hard. Maybe there was some way for her to keep her job and he could move down here. Surely there were handyman jobs here in Virginia!
She could support both of them with her own work, couldn’t she?
But was she really willing to give up her dream? What if she started to