I needed him.
And those emotions drifted through the air around us even though we weren’t touching.
My hands were shaking as I finally turned and zipped my suitcase.
Once again, I’d lost complete control.
If Jax hadn’t found the strength to break away from that craziness, I probably would have torn his clothes off by now.
I shook my head. “You’re right. We really have to go.”
I probably never should have asked for that kiss, but the temptation to feel those sinful lips on mine had been too damn overwhelming.
Jax lifted my suitcase, and I led him out of the bedroom.
We exited the apartment and I was locking the door when Jax said in a guttural voice, “I want you to know that was one of the hardest damn things I’ve ever done.”
I tried to hide a small smile as I finished locking up.
Considering that Jax Montgomery had probably been to hell and back many times between the SEALs and Last Hope, that was one hell of a statement.
Jax
“How’s Harlow doing?” Hudson asked. “If I’d known the press were crawling around Seth and Riley’s place, I never would have left.”
I leaned back in the chair in my home office, trying not to think about the fact that Harlow was upstairs and naked in the guest suite bathtub.
I was trying to back off a little so Harlow could wind down.
The last thing she’d needed was the press drama tonight when she was still trying to find normal again.
“She’s actually handled it pretty well,” I told him. “I think she’s more pissed off than she is anxious. I guess since this has always been part of our lives, I have to remember it’s all new to her.”
“Yeah,” Hudson agreed. “Taylor had pretty much the same reaction when we were cornered in a restaurant. She doesn’t back down easily, either.”
“I’d rather see Harlow pissed than upset,” I said. “Hopefully, she’ll learn to ignore them as much as possible, eventually.”
“You say that like she’s going to be around for a while,” Hudson said thoughtfully. “So what the hell is the deal with you two?”
Now that I had the chance, I told Hudson everything.
He asked a few questions, but mostly he just listened to me spill my guts.
“Why in the hell didn’t you tell me?” Hudson grumbled.
“Harlow asked me not to tell you because she didn’t want Taylor to know that she was struggling,” I explained. “She figured Taylor had enough on her plate, and she didn’t want her to worry. She wanted to get her head together first.”
“Taylor was worried about her,” Hudson said. “I think she had her suspicions that something wasn’t right, but she wanted to give Harlow her space to grieve Mark. Taylor said that she and Harlow had worked everything out by the time we crashed their party on the patio.”
Harlow hadn’t told me that, but then, she really hadn’t had a chance. “I’m glad. I think it was important for the two of them to really talk so Harlow could finish healing. She was carrying a lot of guilt, and I knew talking to Taylor would help.”
“Judging by the way Harlow looked earlier, I would imagine that she won’t need your advisor services much longer,” Hudson said contemplatively.
“Doesn’t matter,” I said defensively. “We’ll still be together. I’d prefer it wasn’t an advisor/victim relationship anyway.”
“Friends?” Hudson asked curiously.
“If I have to stay strictly in the friend zone with her for another fucking day, I’ll lose my mind,” I said grumpily. “I’ve been in that role for almost a month. It wasn’t difficult when Harlow was really vulnerable. She needed me to be her friend. Now that she’s stronger, and is on the road to taking her life back, it’s pure hell. I’m attracted to her, Hudson. And I’m not talking about a mild attraction. Harlow gets to me and makes me completely insane. It’s probably way too soon to ask her for anything more, but if I don’t, I’ll lose it. She feels the same way I do, which makes keeping my hands off her an impossibility. I was kissing her for the first time when the damn media interrupted. Fuck! I want to do what’s right for her, but I don’t see the two of us getting this shit under control. I’m going to try to back off to give her more time, but I’m not sure how long it will last.”
“She’s staying with you now, right?” Hudson questioned.
“Yeah.”
“You’re screwed,” Hudson informed me. “I think you need to let her decide when and