was eleven. Things got a lot better for me after that, but it does a number on your psyche to grow up feeling unwanted and unloved.”
“It absolutely does,” Riley agreed. “Why didn’t anyone adopt you?”
I laughed. “I was a completely unattractive redheaded wild child, and more likely to slug somebody who was teasing me than to cry about it. I spent most of those earlier years angry, terrified and feeling totally unlovable.”
“I don’t blame you,” Riley replied. “But you’re a beautiful woman, Taylor. I have a very hard time believing you weren’t a cute kid.”
“Believe it,” I said flatly. “I had enormous glasses that never fit, a face full of freckles, and crazy red hair. I got to lose the bad glasses after I got into a good home where my foster father bought me contact lenses, and later I had laser surgery to get rid of those, too, but I think the freckles and the crazy hair still fits. Plus, I’ll end up with a couple of small scars on my face from taking a beating during my kidnapping.”
Riley stopped and gently gripped my upper arm until we were face-to-face. “Those scars will barely be noticeable once they heal, and most of your freckles are gone. If those remaining freckles really still bother you, you can use a number of products or methods to get rid of them.”
I rolled my eyes. “Your brother apparently thinks they’re adorable. I’ve tried some of the products, but I have really sensitive skin, and the other stuff has been out of my reach since I’ve been a struggling student for six years now.”
Riley smiled. “I actually think they’re adorable, too. But this is about you and what makes you feel beautiful.”
I could hardly tell Riley that her brother was the only thing that made me feel absolutely fuckable, but I could hardly mention that.
I smirked as I held my arms out away from my sides. “Do I really look like a woman who worries all that much about how I look? This is my general look every single day. Since I’m a geologist, and I’m in the field a lot. Someday, I might need some professional clothing, but until now, that hasn’t been necessary.”
Riley looked me up and down. “Actually, you do look like a woman who cares about how she looks. That pretty light purple color of your shirt makes your stunning green eyes pop, and you look very well put together for a casual party. You’re gorgeous, Taylor, whether you realize that or not. I’d love to be as slim as you are, but I like my food too damn much.”
We started walking down toward the pier again before I answered, “I lost weight in Lania, but I’ve regained most of it. If I continue to eat everything Hudson keeps trying to feed me, I’ll blow up like a balloon.”
Riley laughed before she asked, “Do you think your relationship with Hudson will continue once you’re fully healed? I mean, it’s obvious you care about each other, so I guess I was just hoping it might.”
“I’m not sure,” I answered honestly. “I care about Hudson a lot, but let’s get real, I’m a new grad environmental geologist, and Hudson is…well, he’s Hudson Montgomery. If it hadn’t been for the kidnapping, I doubt we ever would have crossed paths in the first place. Plus, you have to admit that I’m not the kind of woman he’d usually date. So yeah, I’d like to see it go further, but I don’t know if it will. I’m job hunting for a permanent position, and I might not even end up in California.”
“If you two care about each other, you can work that out,” Riley replied. “And Hudson rarely hangs out with the ultra-rich crowd unless he’s forced to do it because of business obligations, or the charities he supports. None of us do, really. It’s a miserable crowd for the most part. Look, I don’t want to overstep my boundaries here, but I can tell Hudson’s crazy about you by the way he looks at you, and I think you care about him, too.”
“I do care. A lot. But I was sexually assaulted repeatedly by the rebel leader while I was being held hostage, and I think Hudson feels like I’m not ready to take this to another level right now.” I hadn’t meant to tell Riley about that part of my captivity, but it had flown out of my mouth anyway.
It hadn’t been difficult