he responded, turning his attention to his computer. “Now go away. I have words to type.” He gave me a smile, and then entered some different universe of which I was not a part.
I left dutifully, promising myself that the next conversation I had with my father concerning Anne would go differently. I was going to fill in some blanks – for myself and my family – and the strange uneasiness in the back of my mind was going to fade away altogether.
“Kate’s Hardware,” answered the instantly recognizable sweet voice on the other end. I was smiling like an idiot, holding my cell in one hand and giving an apple to my personal favorite horse on Hardick Ranch – Dennis. Dennis was making a rather quick snack of it, and a few apple chunks flew haphazardly in my direction.
“Anne? Hey, this is Penn,” I greeted – anxious in a way I was utterly unused to.
“Hey.” It was a happy “hey”, and I immediately thought of the dimple on her right cheek that deepened extraordinarily when she smiled.
“So, you still plannin’ on tomorrow night? I know I told you the party was at 8, but I figured I would swing by your place around 7 so we could get there a little early. Denver’s not too far but still... It’d be nice to avoid some of the crowd,” I had no idea how to ease her into the indulgences of my reality – I only knew it would be wrong to not give her some type of intel to help her prepare.
“The crowd? In Denver?” Anne seemed to choke out. She was clearly alarmed, and I knew I was screwing this conversation up already.
“You know, just – the people. My dad’s friends. It’s going to be a big gathering,” I stammered out.
“Okay...”
“I should have mentioned it’s, um – it's a little dressy. Like, a black-tie event. You can wear whatever you want, though. Anything is fine,” I continued, sounding more and more idiotic with each word.
“Black-tie...” Anne repeated the words, and I could hear the touch of horror in her voice then.
“Yeah. It’s dumb, I know. But it’s um, kind of a big celebration for my dad, and um... You know, sometimes my family gets fancy for that kind of thing. It’s ridiculous. But we’ll have fun, I promise.”
Silence.
“Anne, where should I pick you up at? You live in Corydon? Or nearby, I’m assuming?” The faster we could move on from discussing the Hardick family’s celebratory habits, the better.
More silence. I knew she hadn’t hung up – I could hear her light breath coming and going while she wrestled with...
What exactly is she wrestling with?
“Maybe I’ll just meet you there. I might have to work late on Saturday... Inventory and... stuff. You can just give me the address, and I’ll be there, okay? Eight o’clock,” Anne offered in what seemed to be a falsely confident manner.
“Oh, you don’t wanna drive into the city by yourself – the traffic can be insane and –”
“I’ll be fine, Penn. Just need the address, is all,” Anne persisted, still pleasant – but strained. I gave it to her, hearing the pen click before she jotted it down and then again when she was finished.
This wasn’t going the way it was supposed to. I’d scared her, somehow, while barely skimming the details as of yet. And her last name? There was no way in hell I was going to ask for that right now. Her walls were already up. She wouldn’t tell me, and worse, I was almost certain she wouldn’t go at all if I pressed for such information.
“We’ll have fun, Anne,” I said, repeating myself and feeling like I’d lost my mind completely. I never had trouble talking to girls – or anyone. Now I could hardly put a sentence together.
“Yeah, yeah of course,” she agreed hastily. I could have sworn that she was crying.
4
Valerie
Nineteen wasn’t such a bad age to find out that a person could say “I love you” and still hit you hard enough to make the world go silent and stars appear. I had time, I reasoned, to accept this fact and maybe make something of myself in spite of it.
I would be more careful next time. I wouldn’t trust a sweet, caring man simply because he seemed sweet and caring. I would know that the horrors I’d witnessed in foster care were just the tip of the iceberg when it came to human cruelty. The ring of purple around