taut with tension, she sort of thrust them at him.
‘Thank you. Annie, could we—?’
‘Jackie wants everyone in the staffroom in fifteen minutes.’ Annie cut him off as she always did when he tried to talk to her about them.
‘She is going to announce that I’m being offered a consultant’s position.’
‘Congratulations.’
‘If it is a problem for you...’
‘There are a million exe’s working alongside each other—I’m sure we can manage to remain civil! ’ Annie snapped, thankful for Melanie’s unwitting words. Maybe there were, as Melanie had said, a million exes working alongside each other and managing to be civil, but on reflection maybe she was wrong.
A working relationship with someone you’d had a personal relationship with wasn’t an ideal scenario.
‘Even so,’ Iosef said, ‘if it is going to be a problem for you, I need you to tell me—preferably before the announcement’s made.’
‘Oh, so you’d turn it down for me?’ Annie scoffed.
‘You were here first. Morally I feel—’
‘Morally...’ Annie actually managed to laugh. ‘You’re very good at saying the right thing, but we both know you’ve got the morals of an alley cat!’
‘Annie, please...’
‘Get over yourself, Iosef.’ Annie turned for the door. ‘I already have.’
Brave words perhaps, and they both knew she was lying.
Both knew she didn’t hate him, because it was hard to hate a person you loved. Harder when that person seemed to be fading before her eyes. As the days moved endlessly on, the dashing, cocky, arrogant doctor who had swept her off her feet and out of her mind seemed somehow diminished now.
His face was grey with tension, exhaustion seeping from him as he dragged himself through each day. Sometimes she’d stare at those broad, taut shoulders and the impulse to go over, kiss the back of his neck and massage away the tension was overwhelming. Especially as she knew that he needed it, wanted it—knew that he was weak for her, too.
Knew because her mobile and doorbell often trilled, sometimes late at night, like an addict begging for a fix, and it was safer, far safer to pull the pillow over her head, to delete his texts unread, to volunteer for a month of night duty. And as a last line of defense she washed off the tan and refused to shave her legs, because if somehow she did weaken, if somehow she did actually relent and open the door to him, it wouldn’t go any further because she’d hardly let him see her like that.
The mood in Emergency was as sombre as Annie felt when she arrived for her night shift, and she headed through the darkened obs ward, the curtains pulled around a bed, Melanie giving her just a grim smile as Annie walked past. Pulling out her supper, Annie hauled her bag into her locker then put a smelly, garlic-laced curry in the fridge, so in case Iosef did get called in she’d be stinking to high heaven!
‘Poor patients!’
‘Talking to yourself again?’
Jackie made her jump as she came in and Annie forced a smile, but it changed when she saw Jackie’s tired face. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘You haven’t heard?’
‘What?’
‘Ivan Kolovsky was brought in this afternoon.’
‘Oh.’ It felt as if the marrow was seeping out of her bones—the effort of trying to remain professional and compassionate as she would be for any other colleague an almost impossible feat when it was Iosef they were talking about. ‘Is he...?’
‘No.’ Jackie shook her head. ‘But it is the end of the road for him. It’s been a very trying evening. Iosef had been here working most of the night and all day—he was just finishing up when Ivan was brought in, so he’s beyond exhausted. The plan had been for Ivan to die at home, but apparently his wife panicked. We were going to transfer him but he’s just too ill to be moved.’
‘So he’s on the private ward?’ Annie frowned, wondering why Jackie was telling her so much, wondering why she was privy to so much information, and rather personal information, too. Her heart thudded in her chest as realization hit even before Jackie answered her.
‘We’re trying to keep it from the press so, rather than have him fully admitted, I’ve closed off the obs wards and he’ll stay here until...’
‘Here!’ Annie’s voice was a croak, the impossibility of being so close to Iosef and not able to do anything almost more than she could bear, only her pain hadn’t touched the sides yet, her head shaking as Jackie rammed in the knife.
‘Can you get the handover