and smoothed the water over her hair, running his hands down the soft skin of her neck. He traced her collarbone.
“I want to...” She took a deep breath. “This is going to sound pretty ridiculous. But...I want to watch TV at your house. You have a big TV. There are other…big things there.”
He burst out laughing. “That’s not ridiculous. I do have the biggest TV.”
Tana opened her eyes. Chase was so gorgeous, with his smile breaking through his stubble, water glistening on his skin. She had never been with a man so muscled and perfect. “I never get to watch TV. I mean, I do, sometimes. But most nights, after Lindsey goes to sleep, I’m too tired to pay attention to anything.”
Chase’s face lit up. “Wear your best TV clothes. We’re not leaving the couch.”
An hour later, Tana was sprawled out on the sofa in Chase’s living room. A fire crackled in the fireplace, and snowflakes drifted down in the sunlight outside the huge windows that took up most of one wall. Tana closed her eyes and soaked all of it in. The perfect temperature of the room. The sound of Chase fiddling in the kitchen. And the prospect of a full day ahead of them with nothing to do but relax.
“You sleeping?” he asked, his voice close, startling her.
Tana had been drifting off into a dream about trees against the moon and a soft blanket. “No,” she answered, opening her eyes. “Ooh—I wouldn’t want to miss coffee.”
“I’ve got doughnuts, too.” Chase handed her the coffee and went to get the plate, which held four flawless glazed doughnuts. He settled in next to her. It was so easy—maybe too easy—for Tana’s body to meld to his. Chase put his feet up on the ottoman, and she leaned against him, his arm over her, and a contentedness laced with sadness suffused her. This couldn’t last. It just couldn’t.
Tana put her coffee down. “I can’t remember the last time someone just...held me like this.” The words fell like the snowflakes outside, delicate and soft. “Can you?” Tana held her breath, wondering if he’d answer. She wasn’t bothered by his pause. They had all the time in the world.
“I can remember. It was high school.” He laughed a little. “Isn’t that pathetic? The last time I felt this close to a woman was in high school. We were both eighteen. She went away to college, and I became a professional skier, and that was the end of it. Who was yours?”
Tana felt safe enough in Chase’s arms to tell him the truth. “Lindsey’s dad. We were married.”
“Wow,” Chase said softly.
“It wasn’t a long relationship. We kind of...crashed together and thought getting married was the best idea either of us had ever had. I got pregnant not long after that. And I—” Tana had never, not once, admitted this part of the truth to anyone. “I told my parents he left as soon as he found out I was pregnant, but the truth is that he waited six months.” Chase stiffened, his arms pulling her in tight. “He left in the middle of the night. I don’t know why I thought it would be better if I lied, but...he did. He just left. I woke up one morning, and he was gone.”
“Oh, Tana. I can’t even imagine.”
“It wasn’t great,” she admitted. “After that, I divorced him and changed my name, and never looked back.”
“And you just went on with your life?”
“I didn’t have another choice. I couldn’t go after my original goals. At least, I didn’t think I could.”
Chase stroked a hand over hers. “What were you going to do...you know, before?”
Tana laughed at the naive dreams she’d had just after college and just before she met her ex-husband. “Well, I majored in business in college with a minor in dance, so I’d be qualified to teach lessons. Those were supposed to be a backup plan. I was going to open my own business.”
“What kind of business?”
“I don’t know.” She laughed again, and this time, Chase laughed with her. “I thought of a lot of different things. A dance studio. A dancewear boutique. Lots of different kinds of boutiques. But once Lindsey was born, she came first. I didn’t have time to start a business.”
Chase was quiet for a long time. “What’s your long-term plan now?”
The hairs on the back of her arms stood up. Chase’s voice had a low, gravelly quality and she knew he was talking about them. Be brave, she thought.