leather interior.
“I’d say it’s a done deal, but we’re about to watch an episode that, you know, she’s also in.”
I roll my eyes and give him a playful slap on the thigh. Wow, his legs are so muscular, it stings my hand.
Stop thinking dirty thoughts, Cynthia. I pull away from him and stare out the window to cool off. What is it about him that makes me so mental? I’ve always been able to put my work first, cut things off whenever necessary. But, with him…
When we pull up to his building, my mouth hangs open in shock.
“Ever been to this building?” Stephen asks, seeing my look. I shake my head and he chuckles, getting out of the car to open my door. A bad boy and a gentleman, I think as I take his hand.
He’s on the top floor, and though I’m trying to wipe my face clean of expression, my shock and awe are irrepressible. It’s gorgeous, huge kitchen, of course, and wonderful high ceilings. It’s not that I’m not used to nice places, but my apartment would weep to know a place like this existed in New York.
I poke around as he’s grabbing a bottle of wine, enjoying the ambience and furniture. There are quite a few places I wouldn’t mind getting to know better in here… but, I’m being good!
Stephen pours us some wine and we settle on the couch to watch on his massive TV. I’m feeling a little excited actually. I did well for most of the challenge work, and Stephen always did his best to compliment my food.
“Cheers,” Stephen says as we both take a sip of our wine. I take another gulp for courage as the episode starts. The intro is very sexy, lots of close ups of Stephen and his beautifully toned arms.
“And this is Into the Fire.”
I politely applaud and he bows his head. And now for Nadia and I, I think as I watch in earnest anticipation. Our segment begins.
Any excitement I had turns to utter dread, and my face falls as each minute goes by.
This is a disaster! They’ve captured and aired every bumbling moment I had, like that time I tripped over Nadia’s fucking foot and dropped my utensils; even moments when I didn’t think I was being filmed!
Fuck!
Then they made it look like I used them without washing them, I fucking washed them! On the other hand, Nadia looks professional, polished and intelligent. Every answer is crisp and thoughtful, they even give her this ridiculous friendly background music.
We arrive at the menu section and my glass is empty. The camera zooms softly toward Nadia as she presents her menu, then there’s a cut to Stephen.
“Well said.”
Hey, he said that about me! Oh, fuck, speaking of me…
“I’d rather create a menu I know,” I say quickly after Stephen, and the way it’s strung together makes me sound petulant and rude. There’s a quick look at my menu, but they pan right back to Nadia, letting her start again from where she was cut off before.
At the end of her speech, they cut back to Stephen. “Now that’s very fucking impressive.” My mouth hangs open — this time in shock at the audacity of the editing.
The rest is more of the same. I’m the bumbling idiot who can’t pronounce ingredients or trips over everything.
What’s worse is that it looks like I don’t care. That I’m cutting corners and doing a terrible job on purpose! I chance a look at Stephen, but he’s glued to the screen, his face distraught.
Oh God. Oh God, I’ve fucked this up, haven’t I?
I feel so fucking ashamed. He went out on a goddamn limb to bring me and my disaster restaurant out of the ashes and back into the game. Yet, I’ve blown it. I didn’t mean to, but somehow, I’ve done it.
It’s all my fault. It’s all my fucking fault! I set down my glass to look fully at Stephen, my eyes threatening to water. What must he think of me?
Twenty-Two
Stephen
It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion, or like walking in on your parents having sex and not being able to walk out. Maybe even both.
That’s what watching the episode feels like, except worse. Because it’s happening to us.
Over the episode’s one-hour run time, I cycle through a series of emotions. Shock at what’s happening on the show, betrayal at how Kenny cut the footage, guilt over involving Cynthia into this mess, and anger at Nadia for being so goddamn,