Big Ben (See No Evil Trilogy #1) - Nana Malone Page 0,93

floor-to-ceiling windows with the stunning view of Soho could distract me.

His back was turned as he removed his watch and his head snapped around when he heard me come in. “Jesus, what the fuck are you doing here? You were supposed to call me to pick you up.”

I glowered at him. “You knew?”

His whole body sagged. “He told you?”

“You fucking knew!!”

Those embers under my skin became white-hot as I marched up to him and shoved him in the chest. My heels sank into the soft plush carpeting and made me unstable, so I stepped out of them and shoved him again.

He didn’t budge.

“You knew. You stood there, knowing what he’d done, humiliating me, and you kept it from me?”

His eyes were soft as he searched mine. “I didn’t want you hurt.”

“So you kept it quiet?”

“What was I supposed to do? Hurt you myself? That was the last thing I wanted to do.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until I tasted the salt on my tongue. “I was humiliated walking in there with no idea what he was going to hit me with.”

His brow furrowed then. “I’m surprised he told you. I expected him to lie. Get you back somehow.”

“He told me everything. He said you caught him at the fundraiser. Was it Andrea?”

“I don’t know her name. I didn’t know until I walked into your flat on Friday who he was or what he meant to you. It took me a second to even register it. And I didn’t want to be the one to break your heart if you wanted him. I wanted you to have what you wanted.”

“Bullshit. You’re a coward. You just said all this bullshit about being my friend, caring about me, but you let me walk into an ambush.”

He scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “I didn’t know he was going to tell you like that. And it wasn’t my place to tell you.”

I knew he was being truthful. But it wasn’t right. I knew why he’d done it. He cared about me, and he did not want to see me hurt.

“So you lied.”

He shook his head. “I never lied to you. Not once. I didn’t lie about my feelings for you. I didn’t lie about what you mean to me. I didn’t lie about you being mine. I didn’t lie when I said that you had to choose. You had to choose me. I didn’t lie; I kept something from you that would have hurt you. It wasn’t my place to tell you something that you wouldn’t have believed anyway. Maybe I should have told you. I don’t know. It was impossible to know the right thing to do. And it was impossible to let you walk in that door without me, but I did it because you needed to make your own choices. Your own decisions.”

I knew my anger was irrational, as were my tears. I shoved him again, but this time, he caught my wrist, his fingers gently pressing into my pulse. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I walked into the flat feeling so guilty, knowing that I needed to put the final nail in the coffin because I hadn’t felt about him, ever, the way that I feel about you.”

He closed his eyes and released a long breath. “What do you want from me, Liv?”

I didn’t know what he was asking, and I scowled at him. “You don’t get to ask that. Not when you messed with me.”

“I have never messed with you. From the moment we met in that fucking closet, you owned me.” He gripped my hips. “Tell me you’re done with him.”

I nodded. “He cheated. And he lied about it. He made me think I caused the accident, and I didn’t. He tried to lay his addiction at my feet.”

He gently released my hand. “Say the words, Liv. I need to be sure you’re done with him.”

I shook my head. “I am never ever going back there. Unless it’s to pack myself up.”

“I’m sorry you’re angry.”

I could see the muscle in his jaw ticking. He was carrying his own anger and holding back from me. “You’re sorry? We spent that whole day together in Paris. You could have told me. You could have said something. Anything, like ‘listen, I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it.’ You should have told me.”

“As if that would have changed anything. You needed to make your choice. You needed to choose me.” His hands went up