Big Ben (See No Evil Trilogy #1) - Nana Malone Page 0,89
in mine. “That’s a yes.”
“See, was that so hard?”
I’d said yes, but it didn’t sit right by me. What if, after everything, she still chose him?
But then I looked down at our entwined fingers. No. She was mine. She just had to admit it to herself.
Livy
I knew what I had to do. There was no point in putting it off any longer. At the end of the day, I couldn’t accept that ring.
I’d known it before I left on Friday.
I knew it even more now. Dexter was a liar. He’d used my guilt to manipulate me. I didn’t even recognize the man I used to love. He was gone.
And as much as it had something to do with how much our relationship had deteriorated, it was more about me. This wasn’t about my feelings for Ben, though they were there and unavoidable and intense.
Somewhere along the line, I had changed, and he’d changed. And there was no going back. No recovering from that. He’d broken us.
I let myself in the flat, and Dexter was waiting for me. “Oh, I didn’t realize you’d be waiting.”
His brows rose. “I didn’t expect you home. I figured you’d send Telly over to get your things.”
My fury choked against my leash of control. “Dex look, you probably know what’s coming, and I do need to talk to you. I think this conversation had been coming for a long time.”
He raised a hand. “Look, I know you’re probably angry, and I don’t want to get into a huge fight. But I need you to hear me out.”
I was so tired. And I regretted insisting on coming alone. I wanted Ben’s strong arms around me right now. “I’m done, Dexter. I’m done hearing you out. I’m done listening to your excuses.” I frowned. “You made me believe I was driving that night.”
He went pale. “Y-you were.”
“No, you asshole. It is not the time to double down on that lie.”
He licked his lips. “Okay, look. It seems bad, but I’ve had a drunken driving offense before, and I couldn’t have another one. You were out of it, and I just put you under the wheel.”
“For six months you’ve lied to me. Made me feel guilty. Used me.”
“That’s not what it was. I just, I messed up. You weren’t drinking, so it just looked like an accident. They didn’t even investigate closely because you were clean. There was no harm.”
“There was harm. You did me harm every time you tried to blame your injuries on me. God. Were you ever even injured?”
“I did hurt my hand.”
“Clearly not very much because you were able to move me to the driver’s seat.”
He started to pace and ran his supposedly injured hand through his hair. “It just all got away from me. Fuck. Everything was bloody fine until you took that job. This is Ben Covington’s fault. I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist poisoning you against me.”
I could see it so clearly now. The blatant narcissism. The delusions of grandeur. Had he always been like this and I’d just been too dumb to see it?
Suddenly, all I felt was utter exhaustion. “Dexter, I’m not angry. I’m numb and empty. If I’m being honest, I think I always knew. I just didn’t want to see it, admit it.”
He glared at me “How can you not be angry? That’s the problem, you don’t care enough.”
I blinked at him. “Wh-what?”
“The accident. The fact that I’ve been sleeping with someone else. You can’t even muster the energy to give a shit. How am I supposed to feel loved and desired like that?”
His words were a punch to the gut. “What?” I hadn’t said a thing about him sleeping with someone. Sure, that pretty redhead from his office had given me pause, but had I missed some obvious sign?
“What? Like Covington didn’t tell you?”
My brain whirled, and I shook my head, trying to get a handle on the conversation that was happening. “I don’t understand what the hell you are saying.”
My stomach churned. Then nausea threatened to take over. Dexter stood then and started to pace. All I could do was drop my bag where I stood and then sink down onto the ottoman.
“You’re telling me, he didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
He ran his hands through his hair, tugging. “He didn’t fucking tell you? Why wouldn’t he? He clearly wanted to fuck you.”
My stomach squeezed as I thought of what we’d done last night. “Back the fuck up, Dexter. What is going on?”