middle, hoping to keep the cold at bay. Roman walks past me, touching my shoulder tenderly before making his way to where Sadie lays. I watch as he feels for a pulse. He tries in vain, and after three attempts, a pained sigh leaves him.
He gently covers her lifeless body with the same blanket I tucked around her. The red bandana disappears from my view. In an inexplicable way, the sight comforts me, knowing Georgia will be there standing at the pearly gates to welcome Sadie home.
“Lola?”
Glancing up, Roman is standing before me, waiting for me to process what’s just happened.
I nod, indicating that regardless of her state, I want to say goodbye. He simply skims his fingertips down my cheek before leaving me alone.
Sniffing back my tears, I stagger to where she lies, taking my time because I don’t want to let her go. I stand motionless, my brain unable to process this horrifying truth.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I should have been. I should have held your hand until the very end.” I wipe away my sadness with the back of my hand. “I hope that wherever you go, you’re happy, and there’s no more pain. Georgia will look after you now. I know she will. My two sisters together. That thought makes this a little easier to accept.”
Reaching out, I gently lift the blanket from her cherub face as a torrent of tears blurs my vision. “Take care, k-kiddo. I’ll see you s-soon.” Bending forward, I lay a tender kiss to her forehead. A tear splashes onto her cheek, but I don’t wipe it away.
Taking one last look at her, I replace the blanket, saying a final goodbye to both Sadie and Georgia. Is this what letting go feels like? Funny, I feel numb.
Once I’m in the hallway, I innately seek out Roman. I don’t have far to look. He pushes off the wall, his lips turned downward. Everyone is staring at me, at us, but neither of us seems to care. “I’m going to my room.”
He nods, the hands by his side restless, appearing as if he wants to console me. But he doesn’t. “Of course. If you need me, you know where to find me.”
I appreciate his kindness and wish like anything to be lost in his arms, but with Tamara and June mere feet away, I know that is not an option.
Just as I turn, June stops me. “Lola?”
I hold my breath. “Can you come with me to my office?”
I don’t have the energy to fight her because I knew this moment would come sooner or later. “Okay.”
Roman advances, ready to follow, but June sternly shakes her head. “This will only take a minute.”
The conflict behind Roman’s eyes is clear, but he eventually nods.
June leads the way, and I follow, nodding to Roman that I’ll be okay. And I will. I’m thankful he gives me the space I need.
The moment we enter June’s office, she rounds her desk and opens a drawer. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how close you and Sadie were.” Just the mention of her name stabs at my heart.
She appears just as broken as I am. I can’t imagine how she’d feel experiencing this loss time and time again. Does every death remind her of her daughter? What a heartbreaking thought.
“How do you do it? How do you make the pain go away?” My voice is laced with despair. When she remains quiet, I realize I’m being rude and insensitive. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you’re not hurting. I just meant…you’re so strong to be able to do this.”
“I’m far from strong,” she confesses. “I still cry and grieve for each life lost. But I think I would be far more saddened if I didn’t offer this place to people who needed it.” She takes a deep breath. “I do it because I know my daughter would have wanted me to. She was always looking out for others, such a selfless little thing. If I appear strong”—she peers out into the distance—“it’s her strength that allows me to get through the day with a smile on my face.”
Tears well in my eyes. “Your daughter would have been proud of you, June.”
“You think?” she whispers in a faraway tone.
Her question surprises me. “I know she would. You’ve done so much for so many people. You’re our leader, and we look at you as our beacon of hope.”
She sniffs, turning to me with a small smile. “Thank you. That