Doors open, bystanders curious about the commotion, but I ignore them, powering on until I round the corner and stop dead in my tracks. The first thing I see is Zoe, just a few feet away from the living room. She’s leaning against the wall, hands cupped over her mouth, eyes wide. She appears to be in shock. The next thing I see is June dashing down the hallway, a cell pressed to her ear, her silk dressing gown flailing behind her.
I try to call out to Zoe, but my mouth has gone dry. But she seems in sync with me and turns in slow motion. Her movements may not be quick, but nothing seems real anymore as the walls begin closing in on me. I find the strength to say the only word that matters—the only word which will make everything all right again.
“Sadie?”
She just bursts into tears.
“No. No.” A surge electrocutes me, and I charge forward, desperate to uncover the lie she tells. I don’t get far because determined arms wrap around my middle and press me into the safety net of his chest. “Let me go!” I kick my legs out, but he doesn’t budge.
“Please, don’t look. Don’t remember her like this.” His words are filled with loss and sadness.
“No!” I sob, a rattle vibrating within my chest. “Let me go, please. I have to go. She needs me.” Roman tightens his hold, a column of strength as I crumple around him.
“I’m sorry. Oh god, I’m so sorry.” Those words confirm what I knew to be true the moment he tried to protect me from our reality. Our unforgiving, cruel reality that takes and takes, forgetting how to give.
My outburst has caused a scene, cluing fellow volunteers into what’s going on. The entire time, Roman doesn’t let me go. He is my strength, my champion as I sag against him, sobbing a cry so guttural my throat feels raw. He stands behind me, never letting me go, and if I were thinking straight, I would grieve elsewhere. Anyone looking can see our connection stems far past professional. But I don’t care because I need him. I’m afraid I’ll never crawl back from yet another loss without him.
June watches us from just outside the doorway. Her face shows no emotion, but I know she sees it. A doctor in a white coat pushes past us, suspending June from dissecting what’s happening between Roman and me any further. He stops by her side, and she gestures to the bedroom, shaking her head with a blank stare.
He nods before entering.
I want to go in with him, but I know I can’t—I can’t because I can’t move. All I can think about is Sadie’s last words to me. “I love you, too.”
Did she know those whispered words would be the last she ever spoke?
Roman never wavers from holding me. Back to chest is how we stand and how we stay when Tamara comes around the corner, stopping abruptly when she sees us. Her shock is evident, but she quickly composes herself.
“I came as soon as I heard,” she says in a tender voice, approaching Zoe.
Zoe appears to be in shock. She wears a vacant look as she nods.
The somber-faced doctor emerges. He peruses the crowd before his laser stare focuses on Roman. Roman tenses behind me, but a moment later, he slowly loosens his hold. He leans over my shoulder, whispering, “I have to go in. I won’t be a minute.”
“I-I want to go with you.” Before he has a chance to argue, as I know he’s bound to, I press, “Please, I have to say goodbye.” I can feel him weighing the pros and cons, but he eventually gives in. I slowly turn, facing him.
Peering up into his plagued eyes, I nod, a silent gesture that I’ll be okay.
He exhales heavily, still trying to protect me from seeing one of the hardest sights of my life. But he can’t protect me forever.
The moment I set foot inside the room, I’m hit with many incredible memories of the time we spent together. We may not have known one another for years, but it felt like we did. We utilized every second, not knowing when it would be our last.
Sadie looks as if she’s sleeping, but I’m not lucky enough for that lie to stick. I know she’s gone.
I stand frozen, stuck in the middle of the room as I wrap my arms around my