a great heave of his chest that sounded painful.
"What about your mom?"
"I don't think he hit her, but he kept her cowed. And he was verbally abusive. Mom was already depressed, and when Owen left… it crucified her. She was shipped off to a clinic, leaving me alone with Dad. Who decided it was time I took on the mantle of successor. That... didn't work out well."
"I can imagine," Emily murmured.
"The more he tried to impose his values, the more he hit me, the more I kicked back — I did everything and anything to reject him — dealt weed, skipped school, drank — you name it. I fucked up pretty spectacularly, and got myself expelled from several schools at that time."
“Hence the boarding school in England?” Emmy asked, because she couldn't help herself, and Eric nodded.
"Yeah. Not a great success — you wouldn't believe the bullying there. But I got over it eventually. And I swore to myself then I'd never come back under Dad’s roof."
"Is that why you chose to take your mother's maiden name?”
"Actually, that was his decision at first. When he sent me to England, Dad wanted to distance himself from the monumental fuckup I'd become and limit the damage. But I was happy to oblige. I legally changed my name when I came of age."
"The funny thing is," he said with a sigh, "there was a part of me that wanted to please him, and if he'd tried it with me earlier, I might be running for election as a junior congressman in Massachusetts by now... But it was always Owen, Owen, Owen, and I was desperately jealous and angry. By the time Owen left, it was too late."
"So what happened to him?"
"He did join the Marines, and as far as I know he did several tours of duty, but it's been hard to get specifics. One thing is for sure — he must have changed his name. And he refused all contact — I know Mum tried, but I don’t think she kept at it, because she was afraid of Dad. And I’m sure Dad hasn’t made any efforts in that direction, because that would be construed as backing down, and he doesn’t do weakness. He was — he is — a total asshole like that.”
The venom in his voice was palpable.
“I never made an effort to get in touch until recently."
He turned to look at her.
"You've got to understand, I didn't want to have anything to do with him when he left — I felt hugely betrayed and abandoned. Over the years, I've come to figure out that he didn't really have a choice — it was about survival. But it's taken me a long time to get there. And now, maybe I've found him, and I don't know what to do. I haven't seen my brother for longer than I ever knew him, if that makes sense. It's been nearly seventeen years."
He snorted.
"I told you we were seriously fucked up as a family — do you believe me now?"
As she looked at him, Emmy found it hard to reconcile the self-assured alpha male at her side with the bullied boy forced to change continents to escape abuse. Somewhere along the line, Eric had rebuilt and reinvented himself into the man he was today, changed his name and rewritten his destiny. The thought of the effort and willpower involved made her head spin.
"So... where is he now?"
"If this contact is to be believed, he lives somewhere in Southern California, around San Diego — I still haven’t got an address for him. But there’s a trail, and I have people working on it. I just don’t know how to proceed after that. I mean, it's very possible that if he finds out I am looking for him he'll just disappear again."
"Does your dad know about this?"
"No. This has nothing to do with the Senator, I can assure you. Even Mom doesn't know anything about it. In fact, you’re the only person I’ve talked to about it, apart from the private investigators working the case.”
"Thank you," she said, after a pause.
"I should be the one thanking you. For giving me a chance to explain myself."
"No, I mean, for trusting me. You strike me as the kind of man who doesn't do this often. And I don't just mean the stuff about your family — you play your cards close to your chest, don't you?"
Eric inclined his head in assent.
"Always. But I owed you. And besides,