walks over to me. She yanks me up off the sofa and shoves me towards the door.
“Michelle no – “ my voice quivers.
“Do you want to lose him forever?” She asks.
“I don’t know what I want!” I cry brushing my loose strands of hair to the side.
“Megan, stop it!” Michelle shouts gripping me by the shoulders, “Stand up for yourself goddammit. Tell Ben how you really feel and don’t let this get any worse than it already is. Take it from me. You do not want to be like Matthew and I. Jealous fights, break-ups, make-ups, cheating on our partners, never saying how we really feel, it’s a nightmare. But unlike us, I think you and Ben actually have a chance. You guys have something real. You always have and always will. Do not let him go. You will be sorry.”
I am shocked and elated by Michelle’s words of wisdom. She is right. If I love Ben, I cannot lose him. I deserve to know what this was to him. I need to find out the truth about what happened between him and Stephanie, and I need to find out if he loves me the way I love him. Maybe it needed to come down to this, and maybe everything needed to blow up in my face for me to realize that I wholeheartedly love him. All I can hope is that after everything, he loves me too.
When Stephanie’s rendition of “Vogue” comes to a screeching halt, Michelle thrusts me through the doorway. She gives me a final salute and slams the door on my face leaving me all alone in the hot and humid air. So I run. I run as fast as I can to Ben’s villa with sweat trickling from my brow and welling up under my armpits. My hair flying through the wind and tangling up as it flings from side to side. Once I get to his door, I am out of breath and my heart is pounding out of my chest, beating in my ears. I wait for my hand to knock on the door, but suddenly I am not that brave Megan from a few seconds ago. I am the weak and feeble Megan that wants to slowly tip toe away and forget this ever happened. But I tell myself I cannot be that girl anymore. I need to do this for my own sanity and a real chance at happiness. I raise my shaky hand and make a tiny fist that gently raps three little knocks. I hold my breath forgetting to breathe air into my lungs. I hear the door unlock, only to reveal Matthew half naked with a towel around his waist and sopping wet hair.
“Where’s Ben?” I ask as my fingers tremble.
Matthew rubs the side of his face and looks at me with pitiful eyes, “Oh Megan, I don’t know how to tell you this...”
“What?’ I shout feeling a lump form in my throat.
“Ben left this morning.”
“He what?” I say feeling my jaw drop to the floor.
“Yeah, he took off back to Chicago.” Matthew sighs running his fingers tensely through his hair.
“Did he say anything?” I finally muster as Eric appears behind Matthew.
“He didn’t say much. He just packed his things and told us he changed his flight for this morning. He left about an hour ago.” Mathew shrugs and bites his lower lip.
Eric gives me a silent look of sympathy that only makes me feel a million times worse. Tears start to well up in my eyes and my lips begin to quiver.
“Why would he leave?” I stammer.
Eric begins answering me, but nothing is making sense. Everything is blurred and muffled as I look up at both of them in a daze. I can feel my heart racing and my breathing quicken. I try to speak, but I can’t, because I’m pretty sure my heart has just exploded in my chest. I try to move my feet, but they are like giant cinderblocks screwed to the floor. Eric is waving his hand in front of my spaced out face, and when I look into his green eyes framed by his long blonde lashes I cave into his chest and let out heaving sobs of misery.
I have never in all my life, EVER cried like this over a guy. Sure, I let out a few cries over Marco, and sure there were a few tears that trickled for Donny. But have I ever wept to the point of silent-cries-that-choke-up-your-throat-and-even-make-the-most-beautiful-people-turn-ugly?