The Better Side of Me - Jerry Cole Page 0,1

he’d nearly dropped his phone it had caught him by such surprise.

“It looks like a meaty penis to me,” his other best friend and neighbor, Otis, had responded at the time. He had then glanced at the picture, nodded his approval, and then went back to playing on his phone like it was all normal fair.

“I know what it is!” Kirk sighed. He looked at the picture again, which had been a mistake as it sent a hot flush through his body that had him sweating bullets. “What I mean was, what is it doing on my phone?”

The agreement behind this blind date was that there would be no communication beforehand. No cute texts. No wink faces. No stalking each other on Instagram before meeting up. None of it. It was supposed to be one hundred percent blind and therefore spontaneous... until it wasn’t.

“At least you know it’s a sure thing,” Otis had then continued on casually. He was still on his phone, playing a game or texting someone or doing anything other than help with the situation. “Be happy. The man has a nice cock.”

He did have a nice cock, and the longer that Kirk sat in that restaurant, staring at it under the table, the more he realized he wanted it. But that just created more of a problem. This was a blind date by Kirk’s request, asked for simply because if he knew what he was getting himself into, then he knew he would have freaked out and bailed. If there had even been a hint that his date was handsome, funny, charming or God forbid, nice, he would have come up with some sort of excuse and stayed at home. That’s just how broken Kirk was at the moment.

Kirk, like most men in their late twenties, had an ex. It was a recent ex too, less than three months fresh. They had been seeing one another for over two years and Kirk was all but sure that it was the last man he would be seeing too; no more random dick pics for him. They had passed the getting to know you stage, they had passed the feeling one another out stage, and they were into the ‘next stage of their lives’ stage. Heck, they’d even bought an apartment together! And then, one day and out of the blue, his ex dumped him.

“I’m cheating on you.” His ex, Gregory Humperdinck, hadn’t even blinked when he had said it. He had pointed his no-chin into the air, pushed his fat lips into a smirk, and continued proudly. “And I’m leaving you also.... clearly.”

“You’re... I’m sorry... what was that?” Kirk had been buried behind a book at the time – work he had brought home with him— and needed the clarification. He looked up at his short, stocky boyfriend and blinked his confusion, sure that he had misheard.

“I’m leaving you. In fact, I want you out of this apartment within the hour – he’s coming over and it would be super awkward if you were here.” Gregory, his pig-like ex, had then smiled a slimy, grotesque smile and indicated for Kirk to hurry along.

The whole experience was about as humiliating an experience as could be, and it was only after several months of reflection that Kirk finally felt like he was ready to date again. Or, barring that, throw himself into a steamy one-nighter with no strings attached and plenty of orgasms. He’d just have to get through the dinner first.

Kirk pulled his eyes from the delicious looking penis on his phone, and even put the phone away altogether. He couldn’t afford to get distracted. He had to concentrate. He’d already prepared several lines of questioning, a few jokes and some interesting ‘did you knows’ as conversational ice breakers. But he was now sweating quite a bit and had only just begun to realize how big his tongue felt in his mouth.

The glass of water was Kirk’s refuge. He grabbed at it like a man dying of thirst and then threw it back in one mouthful. Most of it went down his throat, but some dribbled down his chin and onto his white button-down shirt.

“Jesus...” Kirk reached for the napkins and hurriedly patted down the large water stains forming on his chest and around his nipples. “It looks like I’m lactating. Fuck.”

By now it should have been pretty obvious that Kirk had a slight problem with self-confidence... and a little bit more than that. He had just never