affected.”
Lucy thought on that for a moment.
“So that’s why I could tell her to let me go.” It started to make a sense that really wasn’t. But it did explain why she’d obeyed, and why each time Lucy had done it she’d felt the life drain out of her. She still felt pretty exhausted, and that was after a solid eight hours of sleep.
“That’s what’s confusing,” Lucy’s grandmother said. “I’ve never heard of a necromancer having any power over a vampire before. It’s interesting.”
“Interesting? Try disturbing.” Lucy drained her coffee mug a bit. “But in the handy sort of way.”
“Indeed.” Her grandmother regarded her with a stern gaze. “And that brings me to how and why you’ve placed yourself in harm’s way?”
“I didn’t do anything to that vamp-chick.” Lucy said, incensed.
Gram raised her eyebrows dramatically. “Didn’t you, dear? You’re voluntarily playing the role of her lover’s fiancée.”
“It was her idea…or so I’ve heard.”
“Yes, but even if she weren’t a supernatural being, she would still have a hard time once she started realizing what all that involved.”
Lucy had to admit, once Gabriel had pulled Delia away from her and she’d heard the resulting angry exchange—and had witnessed the naked (ha, ha) emotional connection the two shared, she actually had kind of understood. And when a vampire can smell the guy you just kissed on you, you can’t really imagine you’d get away with it.
It all just felt so damn confusing.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her…” Lucy looked to her grandmother beseechingly. “And I didn’t want to lie to you.”
“What’s done is done,” Gram said, “but I do want to know why you’ve done all this?”
Tell the truth? Why not? Lucy didn’t have anything more to hide from her grandmother.
“I wanted my old life back.” Just saying the words made a wave of relief fall over her. “I know that’s just shallow and I should be grateful for, well…grateful for everything…but…”
“You don’t feel like yourself anymore.”
Lucy looked to her grandmother, surprised. Did she really understand?
“You don’t recognize yourself anymore, and without those things you used to take for granted, you don’t feel the same inside.” Gram stood up from the table and moved to pour herself another cup of coffee. “I get that. I felt that way after your mother was born. I loved her more than life itself, but having to give up so many things, and my freedom, all to take care of this little baby…it was a shock to my identity. And then Marshal died, and I had to give up even more of myself just to survive.”
Lucy suddenly felt so stupid. She was complaining about losing a car, a line of credit, and her wardrobe. Her grandmother had lost most of her life to fate.
Another reason to be weary of love. Even now, just the word elicited a little shock through her spine.
She could feel tears threatening to spill from her eyes, but she blinked them back. “It wasn’t just the way those things made me feel.” She felt so low, complaining to a woman who’d sacrificed so much for her family—yet she was the only person in the world right then that understood, or even cared to understand how Lucy felt.
“Ever since Daddy was arrested, and we moved here…I’ve felt…no, I know that I’ve lost the future I’d envisioned for myself.” She couldn’t help it as bitter tears fell from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. “It’s stupid, and…and really selfish…”
Gram had taken her seat at the kitchen table again, reached out and took hold of Lucy’s hand. “No, no child. Mourning those things isn’t stupid or selfish. Those things were as much a part of you as the color of your eyes. And losing your future would devastate anyone.” Gram pulled a small pack of tissues from her pocket and handed them to Lucy. “I’m just sorry you didn’t come to me with this. We would’ve thought of someway. And I don’t like you being involved in an enterprise of this nature. Even without the vampires and werewolves—which you should’ve avoided—trying to pull a con-job on others is always a good way to get hurt.”
“I know that…now. But at the time it seemed the best way.”
“The easiest way, you mean.”
Oh god, she hates me…is she going to tell me I have to stop? I can’t stop. I need this…
“But that’s neither here nor there. What we need to do now is get you through the path you’ve chosen.”
“Really?” Lucy said with too much hopefulness.
“Well, if you