keep her mouth shut. She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe because not only were all of the plans and dreams they had made falling apart in front of her eyes, but she was that woman, the one she never wanted to be. She was the other woman, the one who slept with somebody else’s husband—and she didn’t even know it.
“She’s a client,” he had told his wife. “I forgot I had an appointment. This shouldn’t take too long I’ll still be home on time for dinner,” he had smiled at his wife so innocently, and sweetly. And Alyssa, instead of just saying, “hey, that’s not what you said while you’ve been in and out of my bed for the past year,” she played along. Her heart was breaking; her world was falling apart and she didn’t feel the need to rip somebody else’s apart with hers. Or more like she still couldn’t speak.
His wife left, the receptionist stayed where she was, as if getting ready for the show of a lifetime. Maybe he had done this before. Maybe he had done it with her. Or maybe, Alyssa had thought, maybe she was the only one in the dark—she and the wife that is.
“You’re married?” She had finally found her voice.
“Let’s do this in my office,” he had tried to take her arm in his hand and she had quickly stepped out of reach.
“Don’t see how we can have a December wedding when you’re already married, Berry.”
He didn’t even try to smooth things over. He didn’t tell her he was leaving his wife. He didn't tell her they were having problems, nothing; not one single excuse for his actions. They were happy, and he loved her, and he wanted them both. And now that she knew about his wife, maybe she would understand why he wouldn’t be able to marry her. Oh, but they could still have fun whenever he was in town. She loved him, and he, he had used her, betrayed her, hurt her. She was just some exotic quest for him. And for her he was quickly becoming a major part of her world. She was going to close up a shop she sunk her life savings in and move to Salt Lake and start over just for him, and their wedding that she now knew wasn’t ever going to happen. She had been so blind, and so stupid, and for a long time she had blamed herself for that. When in reality she hadn’t done anything wrong, except maybe trust. She had trusted him when he said she was the only one. She had trusted him when he said he loved her. She had trusted him; and that was her mistake and she would own it. She had owned it and that’s why she was still single. Men had asked her out, some of them were right up her alley when it came to type, but when she looked at them the only thing she could think is that maybe they were married. Or maybe they had a girlfriend somewhere in the country and she was just going to be their side conquest.
Maybe what hurt her most wasn’t just that Berry had lied to her, but that he had been her first. He was the first man she had given herself to because she really did love him and she had always told herself that her first time was going to be with the man she loved. She had been stupid on all counts and she swore she would never let it happen again. She would never trust so completely that she allowed her heart to ever be crushed again.
She realized she was still standing there in the kitchen when Shane’s voice interrupted the self loathing thoughts racing through her mind.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I did answer your question didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but you’re still standing here,” he took the sponge and washed his own dishes off before setting them in the drying rack. She realized now just how long she had been standing there lost in thought.
“Right,” she nodded. “I guess we can both go back down together.” He didn’t push her for details on what had her transfixed where she stood, and she was thankful for that because she didn’t want to talk about it.
“Not yet,” he said. “Here are your keys. They work, but why don’t you go try it out on the door.”
She did, and they did and now that she had stronger, more secure locks,