into the stream, and she had a strange dreadful feeling that she was heading out into the midstream of life, leaving behind all that she knew, all that she had hoped, going into a wild lonely sea of problems and perplexities and going utterly unprepared and unloved.
Carter had gone to the door. She heard the conversation vaguely, as if it had nothing to do with her. It was something about a telegram. The operator wished to speak to Mr. McArthur. Carter went out and Arla wondered idly why he was sending a telegram now, on his wedding night, but she was filled with indifference concerning it.
Carter had left the door unlatched as he went out, and the draft from the open porthole cooled her hot cheeks. She turned to fasten the door, realizing that she was alone, a brief breathing space, and looked about her again.
Those flowers! How wonderful it would have been if they had been hers! If she had been a girl with friends who could send farewell greetings in such a costly style! Why, all these gifts, the wedding that had preceded them, had been but the fulfillment of her childish fairy dreamings—all the things she had most wished for in life—and now they had come, and how empty they were! How one’s heart could starve in the midst of plenty!
She went about the room stealthily examining the cards, removing them with frightened hasty fingers. She would put them out of sight before Carter returned.
Some of the names she recognized as belonging to people who had been down the line and been introduced to her such a little time ago. They had gone through the motion of friendship with her, but that would be all. She would likely never see them again. For a brief moment she had walked with the elite and been recognized by them, but she was not a part of them, never would be. They were not of her world! Her highest dreams had been realized and yet had brought her no joy. Emptiness and sawdust! How she hated it all! How she wished for the old sweet simple days when she went to high school in pretty gingham dresses and Carter carried her books for her, looked down adoringly into her eyes, told her how lovely she was!
Oh, what had she done, how had things gone wrong, that they had come to this night? She remembered the look he had given her as he waved his hand toward the flowers and told her to enjoy them while she could, that it was probably the last of that sort of thing she would see. She shivered with anguish as she felt his contempt all over again, and realized that he was not the Carter of her happy school days, not even the whimsical lover who had sent for her to be his secretary. She must face that fact and not give way to sorrow. Then her lips became set with determination, and she stepped calmly to the bell and rang for the stewardess.
When the woman presented herself, Arla waved toward the flowers.
“I would like you to take all those away,” she said coldly. “They sicken me. Take them down to the steerage, please, and give them to the old women and the little children.”
When Carter came back, the flowers were all gone. The boxes of expensive candies were gone. There was left only the basket of fruit from the office standing alone on the dresser.
“Why—where—what—?” asked Carter, looking about and sensing the emptiness.
“I told the stewardess to take them down to the steerage and give them to people who could enjoy them,” she said in a cold steady voice.
Carter looked at her half startled. He had had so many startling things flung at him already this long terrible evening that one more or less made little impression. Then his eyes swept about the room again and he noticed the fruit.
“Why not that one, too?” he asked, his lips settling into their habitual sneering curve.
“Because that one is yours!” she answered steadily. “Because I paid for that myself!”
“You paid for it yourself?” he exclaimed, looking at her in astonishment.
“Yes, I paid for it myself!” she answered, folding her gloves smoothly together again and laying them out on the table.
“But—why? Why should you pay for them? Why not the others? Who got up the idea?”
“It wasn’t gotten up. I did it all. They don’t even know about it. They hadn’t any money to put into