with Rosie, the day of the accident. Just the feel of the keys forces the bitter smell of brake fluid into my sinuses and I see the gray truck coming for us before the memory shuts down. I’m so dizzy I want to rest my head on the dashboard for a while, but I don’t. Forcing the memories away, I cram them into a closet and slam the door.
Today is about Hailey. I have to pull Hailey through this night before I can consider my own ruined life. So we switch seats and I get behind the wheel like everything’s cool, turn the key, put my foot on the brake, and adjust the rearview mirror. Then I turn up the classic rock radio station—some rocking tune by Aerosmith—and give Hailey a cheesy double thumbs-up to show her all is well. Then, with the car jerking forward as I remember how to work the accelerator, we drive off to school for the Battle of the Bands.
The auditorium has been completely transformed into the closest thing a high school auditorium can be to a dance club. White lights are strung everywhere, silver disco balls and stars hang from the ceiling, and a light machine sweeps multicolored beams around the room. The first several rows of seats have been pulled out and put into storage to create a mosh pit–dance floor area in front of the stage.
Two performance areas are set up, splitting the stage in half, both with drum kits already assembled, speakers, monitors, and amps all in place. All the musicians need to do is plug in and play. While one band is in the spotlight, the next band can get ready for their turn on the darkened half of the stage.
“Whoa, this is awesome,” I say.
“Duuuuudes.” A deep drawling voice comes from behind us, there’s Sam, wearing a black T-shirt with the word Zildjian across the front in white letters, his drum brand of choice. Drumsticks stick out of his back jeans pocket.
“Nice set-up, eh?” I ask him.
He sweeps the stage with a sleepy gaze and a slow smile spreads across his face. “Sweet.” The guy is so relaxed I wonder if he has a pulse. I wish he could transfer some of his laid-back calm to the girl currently cutting off all circulation to my arm.
“Hey, guys.”
I turn, see Ryan, and do a double take. He’s wearing tight white pants, a black shirt with a white tie, and shiny black ankle boots. If that wasn’t enough, he’s got a black fedora pulled down over one eye and sunglasses with red frames. The three of us stare at him, taking this all in, not sure what to say. Then Sam snorts, and we all start to laugh.
“What?” Ryan pulls off his sunglasses.
“Nice outfit,” I say.
“Dude, are you wearing makeup?” Sam asks.
“Just a little eyeliner. I borrowed it from my sister.
Come on, we’re rock stars tonight, why not look like it?” He smiles, punches me in the arm.
“Better to play like one than look like one,” I say, punching him back.
“Ah, here they are, Carpe Diem.” Ms. Coleman approaches us, clutching a clipboard. She’s wearing huge dangly earrings that look like disco balls and a silvery shirt that reflects the colored lights sweeping the auditorium. “There are ten bands playing tonight. You’re scheduled here.” She jabs a finger at her list, and we circle around to see.
“Next to the last,” Sam observes. “That’s actually a really good place to be. We’ll be fresh in everybody’s mind when they do the voting.”
“How does that work, anyway? The voting?” I ask.
“It’s based on applause,” says Ms. Coleman. “At the end, the bands line up on the stage, and the crowd cheers for their favorite band. The one with the loudest audience response wins a trophy and two hundred dollars.”
Ryan and Sam exchange crooked smiles, no doubt imagining a crowd gone wild. Would be nice. But I have my doubts.
Hailey buries her face in my shoulder. “Next to the last,” she whispers, and I know what she’s thinking. For her, the waiting will be torture. She’s got all night to be nervous.
“Make sure you’re ready to go on stage at around nine thirty,” says Ms. Coleman. Not waiting for a response, she clutches the clipboard to her sparkly shirt and rushes off.
Within the hour, the Thoreau High School auditorium– dance club is rocking with noise and lights and people, and I’m wishing Joey and Matt were here to share this with me. With Joey