For all her sensibility, she still hadn’t come to understand how close-minded the folks of Green Valley could be, especially concerning this topic. “You haven’t lived in this town all that long. You’re still doing everything ‘out loud’ and just about everybody thinks you’re a foul-mouthed banshee.” I shook my head. “I don’t begrudge you—you do you. But you don’t know what it’s like, living here with my last name. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone, including my parents, have an expectation for what I should be or how I should appear to everyone else. Hell, I think Jackson is the only thing my dad and I ever talk about. He doesn’t know what else to say to me. He doesn’t understand what I do, he’s tired of pretending he does, and he’s still disappointed I don’t work at the bank like Tavia and Walker.”
“Not good reasons.” Leigh opened her closet and rummaged through the hanging items. “Sounds more like laziness to me. You’d rather pretend you have an imitation of the thing you actually want, and I think that’s sad and pathetic. And friend, you are neither of those things. Why don’t you take a chance on someone else? Grab whatever you actually want for once without just going along with the motions?”
“When did you become pro-relationship?”
“A relationship is fine for you,” she said, her tone stiff as she returned to the suitcase with a kelly green blouse in hand. “But I’m done with men. Finished. You should learn from my example. I’ve got to go home now for my aunt’s funeral knowing my good-for-nothing ex-husband is going to show his face and somehow make my life hell. You want that kind of grief?”
From what I knew of Leigh’s ex, none of it good, Nick wasn’t quite as dastardly. True, he’d left abruptly, and yes he had—
“You’re over there justifying the cheating, right?” I broke from my thoughts in time to see Leigh staring at me with one hand propped on her hip. “Aren’t you?”
“I know how stupid this sounds. Really, I do. But he didn’t seem to know what I was talking about, at all. Maybe if I had—”
“What? Should we have waited until he took her to the walk-in closet and got her underwear around her ankles before we jumped out? Just to be certain of his intentions?”
I covered my face with my hands. “You’re right. I’m being dumb.”
She sighed, planting her hands on either side of the suitcase’s halves. “Zora, the last thing I want to do is weigh in on how you should live your life. God knows, I wish you’d take the reins and shock yourself a little bit. I’m willing to bet you’re going to do that with Nick. I won’t judge you if you do. But I just want you to remember that people don’t change, not that much. So go into this with a clear head. Know the risk.”
“I’m not going to sleep with him.”
Her groan reeked of skepticism. “Let’s review the data points, shall we? He shows up unexpectedly and you end up face-down, ass-up in front of him. You take a private flight and end up on top of the man. You had a huge fight with him yesterday, all while you were pantsless—”
“Okay. When you put it like that—”
“It’s not me putting it like anything!” Her laugh grated on my nerves. “I’m just trying to point out the inevitable here. It’s not just you, thinking with your rational mind here. Your body is in on the decision making. You’re horny from years of celibacy, and you’re not who you were before Nick showed up. I’m telling you, your undercarriage is hot. Your engine is running. Your juice is loose.”
We glared at each other.
“Fine.” Leigh planted her hands on her hips. “Hypothetical question. First thing that comes to mind, say it. If you had sex with him, how would you do it? Missionary? Doggy? Quick.”
“No,” I said automatically, surprising myself with how quickly the answer and accompanying mental picture sprung to life. “On top.” My blood heated at the idea of me on top of Nick, straddling those ridiculously muscled thighs, my bare thighs sliding along the crisp hair of his thighs. I wanted his mouth, his tongue, on my breasts. I needed his hands gripping my back while I rode him. I wanted to follow that captivating scent, whatever it was, all along his neck with my nose, then my teeth. And I wanted my hands in his hair