love with her. Why wouldn't I want to fix it?"
"You want to know how?"
"Goddamn it, Del." He drank again. "Yes, since you're so fucking smart. How do I fix it?"
"Crawl."
Jack blew out a breath. "I can do that."
CHAPTER TWENTY
HE STARTED CRAWLING IN THE MORNING. HE HAD THE SPEECH he'd edited, revised, and expanded most of the night in his head. The trick, as far as he could tell, would be getting her to listen to him.
She'd listen, he told himself as he turned into the Brown Estate. She was Emma. No one was more kind, more open-hearted, than Emma - and wasn't that only one of the dozens of reasons he loved her?
He'd been an idiot, but she'd forgive him. She had to forgive him because . . . she was Emma. Still his stomach clutched when he saw her car parked at the main house. She hadn't gone home. He wouldn't just be facing her, he thought with genuine, back-sweating fear, but all of them. The four of them, with Mrs. Grady for backup.
They'd roast his balls.
He deserved it, no question. But, dear God, did it have to be the four of them? Fucking A.
"Strap it on, Cooke," he muttered, and got out of the truck.
As he walked to the door, he wondered if the condemned walking the last mile experienced this same feeling of doom and dull terror.
"Get a grip, get a freaking grip. They can't kill you."
Maim possibly, verbally assault most definitely. But they couldn't kill him. He started to open the door out of habit, then realized as a persona non grata he wasn't entitled. He rang the bell.
He thought he could get around Mrs. G. She liked him - really liked him. He could throw himself on her mercy, then . . .
Parker answered. No one, he thought, absolutely no one got around Parker Brown.
"Uh," he said.
"Hello, Jack."
"I want - need - to see Emma. To apologize for . . . everything. If I could talk to her for a few minutes and - "
"No."
Such a small word, he thought, so coolly delivered. "Parker, I just want to - "
"No, Jack. She's sleeping."
"I can come back, or wait, or - "
"No."
"Is that all you're going to say to me? Just no?"
"No," she said again without any hint of irony or humor. "It's not all we're going to say."
Mac and Laurel stepped up behind her. As battle plans went, he had to admit it was superior. No choice but surrender.
"Whatever you're going to say, I deserve. You want me to say I was wrong? I was wrong. That I was an idiot? I was. That - "
"I was thinking more along the lines of selfish prick," Laurel commented.
"That, too. Maybe there were reasons, maybe there were circumstances, but they don't matter. Certainly not to you."
"They really don't." Mac eased forward a step. "Not when you hurt the best person we know."
"I can't fix it, I can't make up for it if you don't let me talk to her."
"She doesn't want to talk to you. She doesn't want to see you," Parker said. "Not now. I can't say I'm sorry you're hurting, too. I can see you are, but I can't say I'm sorry for it. Not now. Now, this is about Emma, not about you. She needs time, and she needs you to leave her alone. So that's what you're going to do."
"For how long?"
"As long as it takes."
"Parker, if you'd just listen - "
"No."
As he stared at her, Carter started down the hall from the kitchen. Carter shot him one brief, sympathetic look, then turned around and walked back again.
So much for male solidarity.
"You can't just close the door."
"I can, and I will. But I'll give you something first, because I love you, Jack."
"Oh God, Parker." Why not just roast his balls? he thought. It couldn't be more painful.
"I love you. You're not just like a brother to me, you are a brother to me. To us. So, I'll give you something. I'll forgive you eventually."
"I'm not on board with that," Laurel told him. "I have reservations."
"I'll forgive you," Parker continued, "and we'll be friends again. But more importantly, Emma will forgive you. She'll find a way. Until she does, until she's ready, you're going to leave her alone. You're not going to call her, or contact her, or try to see her. We're not going to tell her you came here this morning, unless she asks. We won't lie to her."
"You can't come