was angled wrong, or in this case just right, because it captured your face a few times.” Christian stepped back, amazed at the desire and passion that showed in that one image. “I wish I knew exactly what you were looking at.”
David shifted his gaze from the picture to Christian. “I was looking at you.” David’s eyes traveled around the room. “Why did you take all these?”
“Because you fascinated me,” Christian explained. “You did since the first afternoon when you walked in here for the interview. I’ve had other assistants, and they assisted, but you sort of came in here and well… moved in. It took about a week and you were coming into my room to wake me up and remind me about appointments. You’d clean up after me when I drank too much trying to forget the feelings I had for my assistant. Feeling I knew I shouldn’t be having but couldn’t turn off.” Christian turned toward the far wall where he’d hung dozens of candid photographs of David. “I actually went out to the clubs a few weeks ago and this really tall, built guy wanted me to bring him home, but I couldn’t.”
“Why not?” David asked tentatively.
“He wasn’t you. I was talking to him but comparing him to you. When I would fuck one of the models, I was telling myself it was to get the picture I needed. It was easier and there were no strings. They were happy, and I got the pictures I wanted. I could even delude myself into thinking I was happy, but I wasn’t. At least not after you came waltzing through my studio door and turned everything on its ear.” Christian’s words had come tumbling out, and he stopped as he watched David’s expression turn to confusion.
“Then why did you say all that stuff the other day?” David stayed where he was, even taking a step backwards.
“I didn’t want to hurt you. I’ve never had any sort of relationship other than sex. I went out and met guys, and being an erotic photographer, the guys even came to me. I figured that I would hurt you if you stayed, and that was exactly what I did.” Christian sighed and looked around the room, realizing it was now or nothing. “I was scared, okay?” Christian admitted. ‘What if I’m no good at this relationship thing? What if we try and I still end up hurting you and getting hurt myself. Fucking I can do, I’ve had lots of practice, but loving someone and taking care of them, that I don’t know shit about.”
“It’s simple, Christian,” David said, taking a step forward. “You just follow your heart.” David stopped, and Christian saw him chewing lightly on his lower lip, worry in his eyes. “What is it you’re saying with all this?” David waved a hand around the room. ‘If you did this as some grand gesture so I’ll forgive you, then that’s fine. I forgive you. But you need to tell me what you expect.”
Christian moved closer, taking David’s hand. “I don’t know what to expect. I already messed up once, and I have no idea what I’m doing.” Christian confessed. “I just know that I’ve missed you and I want you to come back.”
“What is it you’ve missed?” David asked, and Christian felt him looking into his eyes. “Because if it’s just someone to wake you up and pick up after you, I suggest you hire a maid.”
“I missed you.” Christian smiled. “I missed you coming into my room to wake me up in time for an appointment. I missed seeing your face first thing in the morning, and I want that to be the first thing I see every morning and the last thing I see at night.” Christian felt the words tumble out of him before he could stop them. “I want to take pictures of you each day until we’re both old, and maybe if I show you all of them you’ll believe that you really are beautiful. And I want to tell you that I love you, and have you know, not just believe, but feel and know without a doubt, that I mean it.”
“Is that why you did all this?” David asked, looking around for a second.
Christian nodded. “I didn’t think you’d believe me if I told you with words, so I wanted to say it with pictures,” he confessed, and then stilled as he watched David and waited. There was nothing more left to