match, at least a little. Ethan found a really nice blue silk tie on sale that went well with Adam’s eyes, and they added it to the pile.
“Have you considered maybe that your fears might end up self-fulfilling if you keep doubting Matt, even subconsciously?” Ethan asked.
That brought Adam up short. He stopped to stare at Ethan. “What?”
Ethan hesitated, then blew out a breath. “If you keep putting Matt off for no other reason than your fears, how long will it be before he gets frustrated by them and ends up hurt anyway?”
Adam blinked at him in silence for a long moment. “Shit. That… didn’t even occur to me.”
“Uh, yeah, I’m seeing this.” Ethan shook his head, then turned to continue walking.
Adam went with him, walking on autopilot as he let that little thought run amok in his head.
Could he end up making Matt miserable anyway? Trapping him because Matt wouldn’t leave for other reasons—like the baby or even just Adam alone—and end up in the same kind of situation without even the pressure of a bite? All because Adam was too afraid of the pair bond.
“Oh….” Ethan veered off the main walkway, and it took Adam a minute to catch up, he was so lost in thought. When he did, Ethan was holding up something tiny and bright blue, similar to the color of the tie, with a grin on his face. “You need this for the wedding night.”
Adam stared at the collection of straps in Ethan’s hand. “What the fuck is it?”
Ethan laughed. “It’s a thong.” He held it up properly, and Adam could see it then. The front held a pouch that would support Adam’s cock and balls while still showing it pretty nicely. A wide elastic band would go around the waist. “Look at this in the back.” He turned it around for Adam to see the small triangle of space at the top above the thong itself.
He had to admit, it was definitely sexy. And it was likely to still fit, even if he showed a bit more by the wedding. He blushed, though, wondering, with the belly he did have, if Matt would want to see him in it.
“Don’t even. He’d think you were sexy in boxers covered in hearts.”
“It annoys me that you can read me so well.”
“Dude, a blind man could read that. It was written all over your face in 72-point font.” Ethan flashed a grin, and Adam snorted. “Seriously, he’d love this, and can you picture his face when you take your pants off?”
Adam couldn’t stop the grin at that. “Yeah. Yes, I can.” He grabbed the one Ethan had, checked the size, then added it to the rest. “Okay, I gotta stop or I’ll run out of money. You’re buying lunch for convincing me to get it.”
Ethan laughed. “Fine. Just keep it to food-court food.”
“Chinese. I’d kill for beef lo mien.”
“You or the baby?” Ethan asked, grinning.
Adam smiled. “Me. The baby can’t kill yet.”
That made Ethan laugh again.
Adam sat between Matt and Ethan on a long wooden bench outside the judge’s chambers. The courthouse hallway had plenty of traffic at that time of day, but no matter how many people passed, Adam couldn’t bring himself to worry about it. He wasn’t really nervous—this was just a formality. They’d been together for so long. In fact, they’d never really been apart as far as he could remember.
So, he wasn’t nervous about the wedding itself—they’d decided on something small with the judge—but more the next step they were taking. In the month since Matt had proposed, through the end of the semester, the holidays, and restarting classes, Adam hadn’t been able to stop thinking about his fears and just how thoroughly Matt was working to get rid of them.
Ethan’s words since the shopping trip had also been going through his mind. The idea that maybe he could end up causing the very thing he feared hadn’t left him for even a minute. He’d found himself watching Matt at times Matt wasn’t looking, as he considered that possibility.
As he did so, something else occurred to him. He’d let himself forget one thing. One seriously crucial thing. Probably the most important one.
He forgot to consider just how much he loved Matt.
Which led him to thinking about how much Matt really loved him. There was no doubt he did. Adam saw it in all the little and not-so-little things Matt did for him every day. Like bringing home the foods Adam craved. Helping him