Because I Want To - Grace R. Duncan Page 0,38

want to take the bus home together?” He was suddenly, ridiculously, shy and terrified and couldn’t seem to bring himself to look up at Matt.

But Matt simply reached out and tilted Adam’s face up. Adam hadn’t even seen him move. The look on Matt’s face—wary happiness; no, he looked thrilled—eased some of Adam’s fear. “I’d be happy to.” Then he leaned in and kissed Adam softly.

It took everything Adam had to not explode right then. Instead, he reached up and cupped Matt’s cheek as he returned the kiss. He found himself wanting to just melt into Matt, wrap his arms around his best friend—lover—but he kept their location in mind and didn’t let himself deepen the kiss. The last of his fears about the upcoming discussion and Matt’s feelings eased even more, and he felt about a trillion times better after that.

They didn’t speak on the way to the bus stop, but Matt took Adam’s hand and held it the whole way. It seemed Matt forgave him for now, but Adam wasn’t sure if that would continue after they talked. In the meantime, Adam was going to savor the touch.

He hoped to all hell that after they talked, Matt would still want, at least, to be friends, be together in some way. What he’d told Ethan was the truth. He didn’t think Matt would want to be a couple, be together, and not pair with Adam. It was a huge step to him, to both of them, and the fears weren’t something Adam could get past yet, if ever.

They would address that when they got home. Adam tried not to worry too much and instead enjoy having Matt’s arm around him while they waited for the bus, then on the ride back to his house. When they stepped off the bus, however, and started down the sidewalk, Adam’s butterflies and worry turned into a full-blown hurricane inside him. His emotions seemed all over the place, and the shift in his hormones irritated the fuck out of him right then.

He managed to calm himself down enough to unlock his front door and get inside. Buying himself some time, he took off his jacket and hung it up, then finally forced himself to go up the steps to his room.

I can do this. I can do this.

Before Adam could sit on the bed, Matt was next to him. It took Adam a few moments to figure out how to start, but he realized there was one very important thing needed to address first.

“I’d never keep our child from you.”

A blind man could have seen the relief on Matt’s face. It sent a stab through Adam, but he reminded himself that what Ethan had said was true. This was so far outside any form of normal for them that he had to accept Matt couldn’t know this, especially with Adam’s behavior around the rest of the issues with the pregnancy.

“I guess I should have known that,” Matt said finally.

Adam shook his head. “No. Ethan pointed this out. This isn’t normal for us. It’s fair that you wouldn’t.”

Matt reached out and brushed a thumb over Adam’s cheek. “For what it’s worth, even the idea of it surprised the hell out of me. I wouldn’t have imagined that you’d really do something like that. I think it’s one reason I was so pissed.”

“Well… now that I’ve thought it through, I realize how fucked up that came out. And it is my fault in that I also didn’t push to reply like I should have.” Adam cleared his throat and dropped his gaze to the bed. “I… shit. I’m not sure how to approach this. Uhm…” He blew out a breath. “I guess from the beginning. You know my dad is my stepdad, right?”

Matt nodded. “Yeah, I vaguely remember when they got together. Uh… we were… two? Three?”

“Well, I was really young, so I don’t remember it happening, but it was right around when I turned three, maybe closer to four. Anyway, so you know my real father left my mom.”

“Right.” Matt looked a little confused, but Adam just reminded himself to keep going.

“Sorry, this is important. Mom and my father were a pair.”

Matt blinked. “But… I thought your mom and stepdad are?”

Adam nodded. “Yes. Dad bit Mom later on.”

“Uh… what?”

“Didn’t you know? A pair can be broken.”

Matt shook his head. “No, I didn’t. Huh.” He cleared his throat. “I should have paid more attention in sex ed.”

Adam chuckled. “Yeah, probably. Anyway… it hurts like hell,