Beauty in Ashes (Phoenix Rising #7)- Harper Wylde Page 0,58
to start beating again with a soul attached. That…” He shook his head, slumping backwards. “I cannot explain.”
“Why did it nearly kill us too?” Cedric demanded. “Why are our mate marks gone?” I shared a look with Ciarán, one that Tao caught.
“Because she’s not the same.” Tao’s words were soft, but they reached all of our ears. His eyes assessed us, watching every move we made. “Is she?”
Cedric nearly fell as he glanced between us, trying to judge if what Tao said was true.
I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face. “She’s alive,” I croaked out. “Her heart is beating. She’s waking up. Focus on that. The rest… The mate part…”
An anguished cry broke from Cedric as he buried his head in his hands. Tao looked ill as he turned to stare at the wall before looking back to Ciarán. “Is it her soul?” His jaw was tight. “What’s in her now? Is it still her soul?”
Ciarán’s eyes were soft as they considered him. “I’ve never smelled a resurrected soul, to answer your question. I can tell you she doesn’t smell of sunshine and ocean like she did before, Tao. Does that mean she’s not the same soul? The same person? Isn’t that for you to judge, not me?” Tao grimaced at the judgment in that question, wrapping his arm around Cedric and helping him to his feet. I stepped to the side, allowing the pair to pass.
Cedric paused in the doorway, turning to look at me, his eyes haunted and empty—I wasn’t even sure if he saw me standing there. “I’m sorry I failed her. I never even got a chance to tell her she was mine.”
The door closed behind them with a soft click, shutting out the rest of the world. “What do you think they’ll do?” I murmured.
“Mourn. Think. Wonder.” Ciarán settled into his chair. “Then… I think they’ll hope. Hope that their mate is still there. That their future can still exist, mate mark or not. It’s no longer a guarantee for them. Now it’s a choice. It’s going to be up to all of them to live to the end of this war and decide what they want to do.”
“Thanks, Ciarán.” I knew my choice. Nix. My brothers. I would take any shred of time fate would give me with them. I would fight for every moment. If I died in this last battle, I was going to do it with my mate bonded to me, my brothers at my side, and Nix’s taste on my tongue. That was my choice, and I wasn’t going to regret it.
Thirteen
Nix
I wrapped my hands tighter, enjoying the bite of pain as I clenched my fists and stared down the punching bag. The black material was all I saw, and I lashed out, punching it as hard as I could. The thud echoed through the gym, and the bag rocked backward from the impact before swinging toward me. I braced myself and swung, slamming my fist into it again. My hand ached, my knuckles screamed, and still I readied myself for another blow.
Pain had always been one of the only constants in my life, and it didn’t fail me now.
My Phoenix screeched in my head, but the noise was half-hearted. She felt the agonizing sorrow over what we’d done as much as I did.
Molly would never be the same. And it was all my fault. All of it. Down to having the mating outside and away from the lodge, to being stupid enough to trust that Risa would adjust to no longer being the leader of Faction Opal. She’d ripped through Molly in her attempt to get to me, and I couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t eat.
Theo told me Molly was faring well, that they were all so grateful she was alive, but I knew him well enough to see the dark circles under his eyes and the way he glanced away from me every time he gave me the half-truth.
My arms shook, still weak from my rebirth, but I didn’t heed their protests, and I swung for the bag again then kicked it when it dared to return, sending it spinning away from me. I bounced on my feet, loosening up, and took aim, hitting it repeatedly.
“Shouldn’t we stop her?” I heard Joshua ask in the background, but I tuned them all out, unwilling to drop my focus and feel anymore. I needed an outlet, and this bag was my redemption.