on the steering wheel. “I want more too but…” He thought a moment.
“What?”
“What are you doing today?”
“I’m off. On an unexpected vacation,” I mumbled. Having called into Cello’s for my hours, he demanded for me to take some time off instead.
Matteo raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”
I laughed. “I’m having a much-needed girl’s night tomorrow evening with Nika and getting together sometimes with the girls from work but other than that, I am all yours.”
“Good. How long?”
“A week or so.”
“Hmm…care to live at my place for that time? I’ll tell Cathy I’ll work from home.”
“I…” My heart hammered against my ribs. “Yes. I would love to.”
A cheesy grin spread on his face. “Are you sure?”
“Of course.” Was I actually ready for it though? It would only be for a week but it could make or break our relationship. I had stayed at his place constantly, knowing I would be going home but this would be for a couple of days. This would be semi-permanent. This would be…more.
“Mae.” Matteo put the vehicle into park. “This will be good for us.”
“Okay.” I left the vehicle, leaning against the door and breathed in the crisp morning air. I enjoyed where Matteo lived. Quiet. Demure. Everyone kept to themselves, only stopping to say a quick good morning or help whenever necessary.
“Marketa, talk to me.” Matteo stepped into my line of sight, staying back a few feet. He was challenging me, waiting for me to make the first move.
“I’m scared,” I confessed, hugging myself. “I’m not used to feeling all of these emotions. I’m tired. Anxious. But so in love with you. I want more but I’m terrified I’ll get hurt. Morgan is always nudging at my brain because I know what she can do to you.” I lifted my hand when Matteo went to speak. “No. Let me finish. You told me that I don’t have to worry about her. I’m not. I’m worried about you. I’m not jealous. I know you love me. But we have come a long way and I’m worried she’ll set us back.”
“Is that it?” he frowned. “Or are you worried that you will set us back? That your issue with your emotions and not letting go of your past will put a wedge between us? Whatever this…” he waved a hand in front of him. “Is?”
“Matteo, I—”
“You pushed for this. You didn’t back down when I told you to leave me alone.”
“I was worried,” I cried. “What would you have done if the roles were reversed?”
“Don’t throw this back at me, Marketa.”
“I was worried!” I repeated, my voice raising.
“Well I was fucking worried I would hurt you,” he shouted.
“I wanted to help you,” I said, taking a step towards him. “I promised I would help you with Morgan.”
“Well you didn’t.”
I flinched, his words stinging like a slap in the face. “You are mine and I refuse to share. I refuse to allow another woman dig her claws into you. If you want pain, I’ll give it to you. I’ll do whatever you want me to. Just please, let me be there.”
“You’re talking like I’ll see her again.” He shivered, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I don’t know if you will but she knows where you live. Where you work. She…” Bile rose to my throat. “She knows you.”
“No, she doesn’t. Not like you do.” Matteo reached out for me but I stepped back. “Mae,” he pressed but he didn’t touch me.
I could physically feel the walls building themselves back up around me. They put a barrier between us and I knew it was because Matteo didn’t let me see all of him. I understood that he was trying to protect me but without seeing that part of him, what he has given me so far would never be enough.
“Marketa.” Matteo grabbed my hand, kissing each of my fingers.
That gentleness, the soft touches that made me fall in love with him even more, brought tears to my eyes. And that only pissed me off. I pulled from his grip, stomping to the door of his apartment building. Crying. I had never allowed myself to cry until Matteo forced his way into my heart. Because of him, the floodgates opened and the emotions poured out.
“Marketa,” he said softly.
“I need you to let me in. If you see Morgan again, I need to be there to take care of you,” I told him, looking at our joined hands.