ago, I wasn’t sure how to break them down. The same walls that Mae had put up, cracked each time I touched her. I knew it. She knew it. I could see them breaking every time I looked into her beautiful eyes.
Mae continued stripping, slowly, until she wore nothing at all. It was almost as if she were revealing a part of herself that no one had ever seen. Although I had seen her naked several times already, this moment was different. She was submitting to me in a way that made the sadistic beast inside of me roar and come to life. A wall that we shared, chipped apart, breaking piece by piece.
But I needed to know…
“What are we doing, Mae?”
“Right now, you are going to take a shower with me and then we are going to talk.”
“Is that what you want?” I asked, making my way towards her.
“I would rather spend the night with you inside of me,” she lifted her chin defiantly. “But we both know that can’t happen.”
“And why not?” I knew why. I was a psychologist for God’s sake but since meeting Mae, all of that knowledge seemed to disappear. No woman had ever affected me the way she had. Not even Morgan.
“We need to talk,” she looked down at her feet before meeting my gaze once again. “I don’t want to though. But I know…I know it has to be done.”
“Why don’t you want to talk?” If I told her everything, the nightmares that I ran from every single night, the fact that I actually needed to administer pain to feel somewhat normal, would scare her. I couldn’t handle seeing the judgment in her eyes. I wouldn’t be able to deal if she left me because of my past.
Mae turned away from me, the black rose on her back stretching at the flex of her muscles. “I know I told you how I got this tattoo.” She looked at me over her shoulder. “But I never told you why.”
I opened my mouth to respond, to tell her she didn’t have to tell me when I knew it would trigger a painful memory but I didn’t. I knew our pasts needed to be revealed. We couldn’t keep going the way we were. This powerful connection between us was toxic and I wanted to embrace it.
“It was after my mom died. I assumed the…the men would leave me alone since they got what they wanted already. My father made them disappear. Increased security. Went on a war path and destroyed everything that even breathed in my vicinity.” She inhaled a shaky breath. “But it didn’t help. Andre was the one that ordered the tattoo. I remember seeing him standing in the corner of the room while his son and the other men held me down.” Tears welled in her eyes. “Andre ordered the tattoo because my mom’s name was Rose. He wanted me to be reminded of her…her brutal murder every time I look in the mirror.”
At that point I closed the distance between us, wrapping her in my arms. Her confession changed things. And I knew that this was only the beginning.
(Mae)
Matteo’s gentle caress soothed the nerves racing through my body. My muscles became tight with anxiety as the words revealed so much. “I remember watching the life leave my mom’s eyes. I-I was strapped down, forced to do things and have things done to me that will never leave my mind. At night, I sleep although I’m always awake. I find myself pinching my skin to make sure this isn’t a dream. Some fantasy my mind has conjured up to protect myself. If…” I snuggled into his chest, inhaling the delicious scent of his cologne. “I wouldn’t be able to handle this if it were only a dream. Tell me this is real. Please.”
“It’s real.” Matteo pinched my chin. “Everything about this is real.”
Tears burned my eyes, a flood of relief washing over me. “I want more,” my voice broke.
He searched my face, his jaw clenching and unclenching. I could only imagine what he was thinking. How much he had wanted to hurt the men that had destroyed my life. But with Matteo holding me and being with me helped. He knew that but I also knew that more needed to be done. In the short time we had been together, so much has happened, so many feelings and emotions bubbled forth. Finally. After all of this time. But it wasn’t enough.