was her. Morgan dug into my skin like a disease and if I wasn’t careful, she would destroy me.
“I’ve seen you mad. Your eyes go dark when you go all Sadistic on me but this…” She swallowed hard. “I saw pure, raw hatred in them. And you were mumbling a name. Morgan.”
And there it was. The final straw. The last moment before I completely gave up. Before I gave into the ultimate seduction of submission.
“Matteo, tell me who she is,” Mae asked softly.
No jealousy. No judgment. Her eyes warmed, her brows furrowing. “I don’t know what to say.” I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to reveal that piece of myself that had lain dormant for so long.
“Tell me how you met her,” she suggested, crossing her legs.
I mirrored her pose, picking at a piece of grass. Sitting on the cool ground reminded me of when I was a child. My father and I would play catch and relax after by laying in the sun. Those times I missed, knowing they would never happen again.
“I did tell you,” I said, my voice small. So weak. So vulnerable.
“You told me you met her when you were eighteen but not how you met her.”
I looked at Mae staring at me so intently, I was surprised her retinas didn’t burn through me. “Why do you want to know?”
God, I was driving myself insane.
“Because I want to know who’s been hurting you all of these years.”
Me. I had been hurting myself. Morgan was just an added threat. “Morgan was my favorite disease. I never wanted her but I couldn’t get rid of her even though I tried. She turned me into a monster. She told me I could have anything I wanted as long as I didn’t care what people thought. Morgan forced these thoughts into my head. Making me think she loved me and wanted to be with me.” I shook my head. “I was so fucking stupid. So young and naïve. God.”
“You were just a boy,” Mae said gently.
“I should have known better. I was still an adult. A man. I should have gone to…” I swallowed the rest of that sentence, not wanting to talk about it any longer.
“Matteo.”
“Can we please change the subject? Please. I promise to talk. But I need you to give me time.”
Mae nodded slowly. “Alright.” She grabbed my hands and kissed my knuckles. “These hands have shown me so much gentleness. More than I have felt in such…” Her breath caught. “A long time. I want to repay you.”
“You don’t have to repay me. I may be sadistic but I know to stop when a safeword is used. I know you’ve wanted me to hurt you since I’ve met you. But I also know you don’t need pain like you think you do.”
“I want it,” she whispered, looking down.
“And that’s fine. We’ve embraced that and we will delve deeper but…”
“What?”
I took a breath, linking our fingers. I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure how to give her what she needed. Could I? Could I satisfy the dark cravings Mae had? My dick lengthened. Yeah. I could.
“Did you still want to spend the night with me…after…” My voice trailed off. I wasn’t a man of many words but I never had any problems saying what was on my mind. Until now. When it came to sex, I was the Master. But small talk, things that never mattered to me before, were important now and I found myself wanting to please Mae. I wanted to make her happy. I wanted to help her find herself again.
“Yes.” Her eyes twinkled. “I need to spend the night with you. After last time…” She shivered.
“Yeah.” I rose to my feet, pulling her with me.
We didn’t say anything on the drive back to my apartment. The air was heavy and thick, almost suffocating. I glanced over at Mae every so often. Her hand was curled in mine. Her dark eyes had a faraway look in them. A small freckle on the side of her cheek moved when she clenched her jaw. My lips tingled, needing to kiss it. I needed to kiss every inch of her. Destroy her body until she couldn’t take any more. Erase her nightmares with thoughts of me. Possess every bit of her until she was broken and make her mine.
But she couldn’t be mine.
Not now.
And probably not ever.
(Mae)
The drive back to Matteo’s was quiet and intense. I could feel him looking at me every so often. So