Beautiful Pain - J.M. Walker Page 0,42
was beautiful. The way the windows on the buildings sparkled. The sun caressed each object like a lover’s touch.
My stomach somersaulted, an ache forming between my legs.
“Come here, Marketa,” Matteo demanded, his tone smooth and firm.
I walked up to him, standing a foot away.
He leaned against the vehicle, his thick arms crossed under his chest. He watched me. Almost like he was memorizing everything I did. Every move I made. Every word that left my mouth.
“The woman I saw at Heavy, destroyed a piece of me when I was a kid. I met her when I was eighteen. She was a regular at one of my father’s clubs back home. She’s American and I was fascinated by her. Her looks. Her accent. She was everything I wanted.” He touched my arm gently. “Until now.”
My heart gave a start. “Who was she?”
“She was the daughter of one of my father’s associates. She was also older than me but it still was all my fault.” He sat down, dropping his head in his hands. “My fault.”
Closing the distance between us, I brushed my fingers over his nape.
“I tried to stop it. I didn’t want her to hurt me but…I knew it was wrong.”
“But you craved it,” I finished for him.
Leaning his head against my chest, he wrapped his arms around my waist. “I didn’t want to crave it,” he said so softly, I almost didn’t hear him.
I should tell him more about my past. Give and take so to speak. That was how people dated right? He tells me a little. I tell him a little. But I didn’t want to see the judgment in his eyes.
“I was young. Fuck.” His grip on me tightened.
“Matteo.”
He rose to his feet, forcing me to take a step back.
My eyes widened when they locked with his. The vulnerability no longer traveled through him. Standing in front of me was the man I had come to know. The dominant alpha male who could force me to my knees. The sadist who made my masochist roar.
Matteo
Being vulnerable was not something I had felt since she controlled me. Since I was forced to my knees, having no choice but to submit to the ultimate wrath of utter defeat. The destiny that was my fate.
I was fucked, broken, ruined over and over again by ruthless men. All at the hands of Morgan Weiss. She was strong. Where I was weak. She took control. Where I gave into the submission. She was me but she owned domination.
I knew the subs I fucked. I listened to their whimpers and cries, injecting it into myself like a junkie needing their fix. But as soon as a safeword was said, I stopped. I always stopped. But did she? No. No, she fucking didn’t.
“Matteo! Matteo stop!”
A scream. A scream so loud, it vibrated through me. All I could see was her. Laughing. Barking orders. Cracking her whip against my bare ass. And me being the ever so willing victim.
“Matteo!” Another scream. “Santos! Santos!”
That voice. Pleading for me to stop. It pulled me from the torture of my thoughts. I blinked a couple of times, finally focusing on Mae trembling beneath me.
“Wha-what have I done?” I pulled back, stumbled over my feet and fell flat on my ass. Her clothes. Wrinkled from my touch. Her eyes bright with fear.
“Matteo,” she croaked out, her shaky hand moving up to her throat.
“I’m…I’m so sorry,” I muttered, my body vibrating. Never in my whole life had I forced myself on someone. Not unless it was planned in advance. But there was always a safeword. Always.
Warm arms wrapped around me, small soothing whispers caressing my ears.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I don’t…I don’t remember what I did.” I shuddered. “I don’t.”
“Shhh…” Mae held me tight against her small frame. “You didn’t hurt me.”
“I didn’t?” I asked, trying to remember what had happened in the last couple of minutes.
“No, of course not.” She pulled back, brushing a hand through my hair.
“But…you used your safeword.”
She sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I only used it because you scared me.”
My stomach twisted. “Fuck.”
“But I knew you wouldn’t hurt me.”
“I—”
“Look at me,” she demanded.
A flutter of desire swam through me at the firm command and I did as I was told. For now.
Her breath caught, our gaze locking. She cleared her throat a couple of times before she continued. “I was scared because…because of your eyes.”
“My eyes?” I tried to remember, needing to know what had happened to possess me but all I could think about