window, so I know you still care. Flip me off, baby. Please. Hate me, if you must. Just care enough to flip me off.
It’s my last hope—that Georgina will grace me with the tiniest flicker from her glorious flame.
But, no.
The car is gone now.
And Georgina never turned around.
She never met my eyes, so they could tell her how sorry I am. She never met my eyes, so they could beg her to come back to me. She never met my eyes so I could tell her I’m fucked up in ways I don’t understand. Ways I can’t help. Ways I can’t fix. She never turned around so my eyes could tell her I’ve never felt the way I do with her. She never turned around so my eyes could explain I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to feel this. I simply don’t know.
“Is everything okay, Mr. Rivers?” one of the guards asks.
I look down at the ground for a long beat.
If any other girl had left me standing here, I’d look directly at the guard, smile, and say, “Yes, everything is great. Everything is perfect. I’m on top of the world, motherfucker. The Man with the Midas Touch.”
But I can’t say any of it now. Not when the girl who’s left me is Georgina. Not when the girl I betrayed, the girl I hurt, is the same girl I’d move heaven and earth to protect. I can’t say it now, when it’s Georgina who thinks I’m a liar. Even though, I swear, a solid three quarters of what I said to her was the God’s truth.
I look up and meet the guard’s eyes. “No. Everything’s not okay.” I drag my palm across my jaw and take a deep breath. “In fact, Jeremy. To be honest with you, everything just turned to total fucking shit.”
Chapter 35
Georgina
The moment the Uber is out of sight from Reed’s house, I crumple into the backseat. Everybody’s got a price. Reed warned me that was his life philosophy. Why didn’t I listen to him when he told me exactly what kind of monster he is? Why did I trust him with the most vulnerable, sacred parts of myself? Why, why, why?
Everybody’s got a price.
What was CeeCee’s price, I wonder? Did she ever truly believe in me, as she and Reed both claimed, or was she all too happy to help her good friend, Reed, get the tits and ass he desired, if it meant she could get a River Records special issue, including a Reed Rivers interview, for herself? I thought CeeCee was my friend, my hero, my inspiration—and it turns out she was my pimp.
“I can’t believe you lied to me,” Alessandra says, looking out her window.
I swivel my head to look at her, at a loss.
“About my demo. Why didn’t you tell me Reed had already listened to it? Why did you lie to me? You thought I couldn’t take it? You think I’m so weak and pathetic I can’t handle the truth? I was totally blindsided, Georgie. I couldn’t speak.”
I wipe my eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to feel awkward at the party around Reed.”
“That’s not why.”
“What do you mean?”
“You were a coward. You didn’t want to have to break the news to me.”
“Well, of course. But, mostly, I didn’t want you to lose faith in yourself. Reed’s opinion isn’t the gospel.”
Alessandra shakes her head and looks out the window. “I missed out on a great chance to have an honest discussion with him. To ask him questions. Maybe even try to impress him. But I was too blindsided to say or do anything. I just sat there, like an idiot. And now, thanks to you, he thinks I’m mentally deficient, in addition to being a ‘Laila knock-off.’”
“He called you that? Asshole! He swore he wouldn’t say anything to you tonight.”
“So, the answer to this problem is for Reed to have lied to me, too? Guess again, Georgina. Frankly, I’m glad Reed told me the truth. I only wish you had, too, so I could have been ready for him. He told me to get up on that stage and knock his socks off. If I’d known he’d listened already, maybe I would have... I don’t know. Maybe I would have done something.”
I wipe my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
She scowls at me. “I said from the start he’d never want to sign me. Remember? I never once thought I’m good enough.”
“You