are the oddest handler I’ve ever had.
You’re welcome for making your life interesting.
Hm.
As I was toting the forty-five-pound dumbbells out of the SUV and to the stairs, a familiar orange camper van with galaxy curtains pulled into the parking lot. Dimitri waved out the open window. Nin sat in the passenger seat.
I nodded to let them know I’d be back in a minute. When I went inside to set down the dumbbells, Sindari was still by the door, rubbing his cheek on the back of a stationary exercise bike.
“Are you leaving your scent on that?”
Merely scratching an itch.
Maggie meowed plaintively, as if she knew exactly what was going on out in her living room. I squinted suspiciously at Sindari and vowed to look up all the ways felines left their scents on things.
“Dumbbells go in the bedroom, not the living room,” Willard said, walking out as I was trying to leave.
“Is that official home-gym etiquette, or do you just like seeing me carry heavy weights around?”
“Yes.” She pointed at Sindari. “What is your tiger doing?”
“Scratching an itch, he promises me.”
“If Maggie is terrified to go near that exercise bike later, I’m going to dock your combat pay on the next assignment.”
“Why would a cat want to go near an exercise bike?”
“Maggie likes to spin the pedals with her paws.” Willard strode up to Sindari and made shooing motions with her hands. “Outside, large feline. Out.”
Sindari gave her an indifferent look, then turned his gaze on me. Not only did you not bring me forth to do battle, but I must endure the disrespect of humans who do not acknowledge my supreme eminence.
“She’s my boss. If you would be so kind as to go outside?” I waved at the door. “Dimitri is out there. I know you find his hands acceptable.”
Sindari made a noise that sounded like the tiger equivalent of hmmph. He padded toward the door but brushed his side along the front of Willard’s dark pants and shirt on the way out. She scowled and brushed at the impressive amount of silver fur that came off on her clothing.
“You need to groom that tiger. Maggie’s going to have a fit.”
Sindari sashayed out the door, his tail swaying jauntily. Since there were a handful of people around, I dismissed him back to his realm. Hopefully, he could finish that hunt.
Though I was eager to know what Zoltan had found, Nin intercepted me before I reached Dimitri.
“Thank you for your assistance with the Pardus brothers,” she said formally and solemnly. “I know you did not wish to kill anyone, and that was never my wish either. I apologize for not foreseeing that my request would turn to such violence.”
“It’s all right. They were asses, and I probably would have ended up hunting them down for crimes sooner or later anyway.” I remembered the shifter on the lawn who’d been eyeing the couple with the stroller.
“I am still sorry. Were you badly injured? Dimitri said the dragons were there.”
“I’m all right. Thanks for asking.”
“I am working on your armor already. I will attempt to make it so good that it protects you even from dragons.”
“That’s good, because I have a feeling I’m not done with dragons yet.”
Unfortunately.
Dimitri looked over at me from his van. He stood beside it, talking to Clarke, who was telling an animated story, judging by the hand gestures. I couldn’t tell if Dimitri was entertained or wanted a way to escape the garrulous corporal.
“Clarke,” I said, walking up. “Willard wants you to personally carry the rest of the dumbbells up to the apartment.”
“She said that? Does she want to admire my biceps?”
“Oh, I’m positive.”
“I’m the delight of many older women,” Clarke told Dimitri with a flirty wink identical to the one he’d given me. He strutted to the Honda, his arms held just so to display his ropy muscles.
“I’ve crossed paths with him numerous times in the last year,” I said, “and I haven’t the foggiest idea which way his tastes run.”
“All ways, I think.”
“I don’t know exactly what that means, and I don’t want to know.” I pointed at the notebook and piece of paper. “Are those for me?”
“This is most definitely for you.” Dimitri handed me the sheet of paper. “I’m on my way out of town. My landscaping employer has gotten a bunch of gigs and has work for me, so I’m going back to Bend. Zoltan asked me to deliver the notebook to you on my way out if you agree to pay him.”
“Of course I’ll pay him.” I read the sheet of paper, expecting a translation of the notebook, but… “This is an invoice. For six-thousand-and-seven-hundred dollars.” I thought about fainting. I’d never fainted in my life, but this seemed like an appropriate time to start.
“Yes. I understand it’s itemized—charm, gas grenades, and translation services—for your bookkeeping convenience.”
“He charged me more for the translation than for anything else.”
“Because the translation took the longest. He said he settled on an official hourly rate for his services and billed you accordingly. He didn’t charge you for materials.”
“What a deal. Dimitri, professional hookers in Hollywood don’t make this much per hour. Lawyers don’t make this much per hour.” I pointed a thumb at my chest. “I don’t make this much per hour, and I risk my life every time I take a job.”
Dimitri lifted his hands. “If you don’t like his rate, you’ll have to take it up with him. I’m just the delivery boy.”
“I always assumed that if I was gouged by a vampire, blood would be involved.” So much for getting out of debt on that car loan.
“Here. This is the part you want.” Dimitri handed me the notebook.
I opened it and found a stack of folded papers inside, Zoltan’s old-fashioned calligraphic handwriting detailing what he’d translated. The word orbs leaped out at me, and I shivered. Willard came down as I was scanning the pages, and I waved for her to come read over my shoulder.
“They’re recipes and shopping lists with instructions for making what Zoltan translated as poisonous pleasure orbs along with several other devices,” I said. “They’re all called pleasure something-or-other.”
“Was the one you saw poisonous?” Willard must have already read the report I’d turned in that morning.
“The shifters were pressing themselves right up against it, and it seemed like they’d been using it for a while, so it would have to be something long-term.”
“That’s possible,” she said. “Dark elves are long-lived, so they wouldn’t be in a hurry to get immediate results. Did any of the shifters who were using it live? If we could question one…”
“Maybe some of the ones who didn’t come down into the basement. Nobody down there survived. Once Dob showed up, Sindari and I were in purely defensive mode. No time for sparing lives or questioning anyone.”
“I’ll talk to my informants in the north and see what I can learn in the next couple of weeks.”
“You can start with this.” I thrust the notebook and translation at Willard. “You better make a whole bunch of copies of this stuff and then throw the notebook in the Sound. The dark elves want it back, but I don’t think we want them to have it back.”
“No.” Willard took it. “I wonder how many of these devices they’ve already made and how they intend to use them.”
“I don’t know, but if the shifters were an indication, they’ll lure in a lot of people. They must plan to use honey instead of vinegar to get what they want.”
“And what do they want?”
“I was hoping you knew that. You’re the intelligence gatherer. I’m just the muscle.”
Clarke walked past, carrying a set of dumbbells in each hand.
“My muscle isn’t as prominent as some people’s,” I said, “but it’s effective.”
“I have no doubt of that. You took out six shifters and a dragon in one night.”
“I had help. A lot of help. Sindari, of course, and if not for Zav, Dob would have killed me like an elephant smashing a beetle underfoot.” Now that some time had passed, and I’d had a chance to consider how much trouble he might get in because of my actions, I felt more inclined to apologize to him, or at least thank him. But who knew if I would ever see him again?
Willard pulled out her phone and read a text. “Hm.”
“Is that your landlord letting you know that your exercise equipment exceeds the weight allowance for the second floor?” I asked.
“No.” She lowered the phone, her face grim. “The dragon’s body disappeared out of the big storage unit we put it in until we could get a proper team to examine it.”
“It disappeared?” Dimitri asked. “How does that happen?”
“Magic,” I murmured.
I had a bad feeling the Dragon Justice Court had collected it and that I would soon find out if Zav’s attempt to hide my role in killing Dob would work.
THE END
~