of you will just take over after sitting here and napping all night. You want to play, find yourself some orders, and they better be written orders,” he paused. “Pretend to be useful for a change instead of just pushing people around.” Pak picked up the phone, listened for a moment, then put it down again.
The two of them smiled together, as if one were a mirror image of the other. A moment later, the first one’s face fell back into anger. His mouth moved a few times, but nothing came out.
“Phones are down,” the second one said and yawned again. His overcoat had a nice fur-lined hood on it. “You know you can’t keep him, and you know why. So don’t be a dope.”
Pak pulled a clean sheet of paper out of a drawer and slapped it on his desk. I’d never seen him make such grand, noisy gestures. “There’s nothing that says I can’t keep him, and there’s nothing that says you get to take him. You’re in my office, this is a Ministry building, and I say nothing happens until I get something with an official stamp that tells me I don’t have jurisdiction. Meantime, go fuck yourself.”
They both looked at the foreigner. “He doesn’t move; he stays here. If he leaves this building, he’ll be sorry. If he talks to anyone on the phone, he’ll be sorry.” The first one had found his voice again. He turned to Pak. “And you’ll be sorry, comrade, believe me. Real sorry. We’re going now, but we’ll be back.” He picked up one of the cups and tossed it to me. “Wash these, why don’t you?”
They smiled again, in stereo, and slammed the door on their way out.
The foreigner applauded. “Bravo, bravo. A man of principle! I thought you said you were going to toss me into their jaws.”
I put down the cup and rubbed my ears. “Almost thawed out, but I still can’t believe what I just heard. Are you crazy?” I looked at Pak. “They’ll tear us limb from limb. Especially the ugly one.”
Pak shook his head. “I don’t like people helping themselves to my tea, and I don’t like them parking in my spot. Besides, they don’t scare me. I don’t care what they look like. It will take them a couple of hours to find the right person to supply written authorization. No one wants to commit anything to paper these days, too dangerous; there’s no paper trail if there’s no paper. Everyone wants everything verbal. Well, I don’t. I don’t have to take verbal orders from them, and they know it. Meantime, I’ll call the Minister, and we’ll figure out something else to slow them down.” He turned to the foreigner. “You were under my care. You still are, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t sacrifice people under my care, it doesn’t matter how foolish they are.”
“Where does all this leave me, if you don’t mind my asking?” The foreigner did not look grateful or concerned. He sounded even less so.
“You?” Pak stared at the man for a moment. “Where does it leave you? You can go back to your hotel if you want. Pack your suitcase. Sit tight.”
“What if they come for me at the hotel?” Still no note of concern in the voice.
“No problem. The inspector here will look stern. He will be implacable until they back off and go home.”
“And if they don’t?”
Pak looked surprised. “Do I detect a note of worry? I wouldn’t have thought so, you getting worried. But if that’s the case, if you’d rather hide, you can stay here. We’ll dump you at the airport later this morning, and you take the next plane out.” He pointed at the calendar on the wall. “It’s Tuesday, you’re in luck. The plane leaves early, assuming they get the runway cleared and the ice off the wings.”
“What if things play out differently, not so propitiously? It’s not that I’m worried, just running down the options.”
“I’ll bet you have contingency plans.” Pak scratched his head. “Deigeh nisht, I think was the term you used. It’s Swiss, you said, for ‘never mind, it’s covered.’”
The foreigner laughed even before I finished translating. “You were so drunk that night, who could believe you would remember anything. But you did! Maybe my efforts here were not in vain.” He laughed again. “Look, I can get you honorary citizenship someday, if you need it. You and the inspector, both. Who knows, your Korean genes might like