to mess up,” Heidi said. “That’s part of being a fucking human. But part of being a good person, a good man, is what he does in the wake of that.”
Stef’s heart pounded, her pulse shuddering through her veins. She closed her eyes, letting Heidi’s words wash over her, remembering all the things Ben had done, both before and after that one horrific moment in the penthouse, remembering that moment, too.
And how she hadn’t broken.
How she’d stood up for herself.
She could have done better, too, could have refused to leave, shouted and fought until he heard her.
She’d left.
But she also hadn’t withered and made herself small.
Stef sank onto her stool as the realization struck home, echoing through every part of her—she wasn’t going to be that person again, the girl used by everyone.
“No matter what,” she whispered. “I won’t be her again.”
“No, you won’t,” Heidi said.
Her eyes met her friend’s. “He messed up.”
Heidi nodded. “He was an asshole,” she agreed. “Just like we all are sometimes, but you didn’t let him walk all over you.”
“I didn’t,” Stef said. “And he’s trying to make it right.”
“Plus, he’s doing it in glorious fashion,” Heidi said, her voice lightening. “He apologized with style, held nothing back, and he’s not giving up.”
“He’s a good man,” she whispered, and knew it to be the truth.
“Yes.”
“And now I have to decide what to do, because we can’t go on like this forever.”
A smile. “Also, yes.”
Stef fell silent.
“For the record,” Heidi said. “I think you should keep him.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Ben
The elevator doors opened on a ding, but he’d long ago stopped hoping it would be Stef.
He had so much to make up for.
So much to prove.
It might take forever for her to accept him back into her life.
And rightfully so.
He’d been . . . well, words couldn’t describe how much of an asshole he’d been.
Pathetic. Angry. Stupid. Horrible. Oh, and he might as well throw undeserving in there as well.
Just for good measure.
He had the TV on in the background, the show a painful reminder, and yet he felt the need to keep punishing himself. Because it was part of her. Part of Stef. And he’d take any piece he could get.
“Stargate?”
He jumped, launching himself off the couch, dislodging a very unhappy Sweetheart.
Stef was here.
Here.
A kernel of hope gathered in his chest, he started to round the couch, wanting to take her in his arms, but she put her hand up, and he stopped in his tracks.
“I missed you,” he said. “And I’m so sorry and I love you and I’ll make it up—”
Her hand lifted higher.
He shut up.
“You will never, ever talk to me like that again.”
That kernel grew, spreading outward from his chest. “I promise you, I won’t.”
“And you won’t order me to leave or shut me down.” Her shoulders rose and fell on a breath. “You will talk to me. We will work out our problems. Together.”
“Yes, honey. I swear to you that we will be in this together.”
“And you will also understand that it will take me time to trust you again.”
That dimmed the kernel, but he knew it wasn’t anything less than he deserved. “I understand. I . . .” He hesitated. “Can I show you something?”
She nodded.
He brought her the stack of paper he’d intended on having delivered in the morning, pressed them into her hands.
She flipped through them, her mouth gaping open.
“I—” Her eyes shot to his. “I . . . you’re giving me a building?”
“I don’t want you to ever think that you don’t have a place here,” he said, daring to brush his knuckles over her cheek. “So, it’s yours. This floor, the rest of the building. It’s all yours. You have the leverage, the right to kick me out if you want. You belong here.”
A single tear slid down her cheek. “Ben,” she whispered.
“I know you said you forgave me, but I haven’t begun to forgive myself. I’m so sorry. You told me all your weak spots, you found courage to plaster them up and move forward, and I—I broke—”
His voice cracked, tears blurred his eyes.
Soft fingers on his cheek. “You didn’t break me.”
He sucked in a breath. “I’m—”
“No more apologies, baby. No more looking back.” Her lips curved. “You were an asshole. But I should have fought to make you see—”
“I wouldn’t have let you.”
She stepped close enough that her breath brushed his lips. “Let’s call it that we both fucked up—you significantly more than me, of course—” Her mouth curved. “And move on, okay?”
“I feel like