through my stomach and my heart beginning to beat faster. I feel like a deer in the headlights, and it feels good. A shiver goes up my back, and he seems to notice; there’s a subtle shift in his posture, like he’s on the verge of moving closer, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want him to.
“You know,” Shade says slowly, breaking the silence, “I can think of a couple other ways to make things better.” There’s a sly half-smile on his face, and it’s nearly enough to make me sway.
My better judgement is warning me not to be stupid, not to make this any more complicated, but a baser part of me is winning out as I stare up into the blond boy’s face. “Is that so?” I ask, almost not believing the words coming out of my mouth. He nods, and I scoot closer to him, tilting my head to the side. “And what would those be, exactly?”
“I would have to show you,” he replies, his smirk growing.
More adrenaline floods through me. The rest of the world is momentarily forgotten. “Then show me,” I tell him, my voice barely above a whisper.
Now his smirk has grown into a full-on grin, and when he reaches up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear, his hand feels like it’s setting my skin on fire. His lips are like fire, too, and his kiss is as fierce as he is, scorching me in the best way possible as his hand comes up to tangle in my hair and my arms wrap around him.
Keeping me warm in the moonlight.
Chapter 14
If we thought we were going to get a breather from the constant politics and rumours today, we were sorely mistaken; Sunday is another day at the convention center, and although I now know what to expect, I’m still dreading it… and not only for the obvious reasons.
The others were all in bed already by the time Shade and I came down from the roof last night, and for that, I’m thankful; the last thing I would have wanted was to have to explain why I was out so long past curfew, or why my clothes and hair were rumpled when I got back. Shade gave me another long kiss before disappearing into his room, leaving me swaying on my feet as I went to bed, still basking in the afterglow of the love we had made. I slept like a baby, a dreamless sleep for which I’m especially grateful for now; now that the adrenaline and endorphins have worn off, I’m left to face the truth of what happened last night, and the overwhelming sense of guilt and confusion that accompanies it.
Once again, I hooked up with one of the guys I met at the Academy. Once again, I was overcome with emotion and desire in the moment, and now I’m having to deal with the aftermath. I was reeling from what Lyle told me about my parents, that much is clear, and the conference has been taking a toll on me, yes. But that’s a cheap excuse, and I know it; the conference has been taking a toll on everyone, especially in the aftermath of what the school did to Silas. Pretending it was a moment of weakness diminishes what it really was - what all these moments between me and the guys have been: some part of both of us, feeding on the thing that connects us, that string of fate that’s had us tethered together in some way since we were babies. Would they understand if I told them it all felt almost preconceived, like the feelings I’m developing for them are just a natural result of our relationship, the next logical step in a long line of fateful events?
It’s all too much, and at the end of the day, none of that even matters; a conversation needs to happen between Silas and me, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for it. I know we’ve never officially put labels on our relationship, but that doesn’t make me any more nervous as we file out to the metro station for another day at the conference; I don’t want to jeopardize my relationship with any of these guys, especially not now, and no matter what they all have in common, they’re still people with their own emotions… and their own hearts capable of being broken.
I look up from my seat on the train