fresh tears. “If I had been a faster learner…”
Garrett pushed her away from him just slightly. “What are you talking about, Caitlyn? You are exceptional.”
She shook her head. “No. No, I am not. I should have been able to heal her. If I had learned faster, if I was more disciplined, I could have learned what I needed to heal her.”
Garrett’s finger tilted her head up. “Healers cannot fix everything, Caitlyn. Even the strongest Healers have limited abilities.”
“But I would have learned.”
Garrett smiled at her earnest response. If anyone would have, it would have been her. He had never met anyone so eager before.
She took a deep breath, this time opting to speak out loud. “I was not as dedicated as I needed to be. I should have focused more.”
“Caitlyn, you do not need to focus more. You are already learning at a highly accelerated rate. You could not have done anything to stop this.” Garrett held her at arm’s length and looked in her eyes. “Don’t you understand? Even if you were the strongest healer in the Trust, you could not have reversed the damage. Our healing does not work that way.”
“How do you know, Garrett?”
“I just know. I’ve met many of our healers, Caitlyn.”
“But you don’t know how to heal well so you can’t be positive.”
In truth, Garrett did not know how to heal very well. It was a specialty he was never very interested in. He had always been interested in mind techniques, while others, for some reason tended to have special skills in healing and they naturally gravitated towards that.
In that moment, he wished he knew how to heal her broken spirit. Caitlyn appeared worn down and weak when she was anything but. His body was telling him to kiss her and make sure she knew everything was alright and that she was cared for. He knew what he wanted to do, but even if he were sure she would return his affections, now was not the time to take advantage of that. So Garrett instead pulled her back to him and held her tight.
“I know the basics that I’ve been teaching you. If you still want to pursue it in more depth after the Threshold, I’m sure that we can get a specialist. But Caitlyn…before all of that, before the Threshold, there is something you need to do for me.”
“What?”
Garrett stated simply, “You need to grieve. Your sister is dead. Nothing you learn, no matter how fast or how well, will change that. She is gone.”
Caitlyn stiffened in his embrace. This is not what she wanted to hear, but what she needed to. He continued. “I know you blame yourself for what happened all those years ago, but it is not your fault.”
Caitlyn yanked out of his arms. “How can you say it is not my fault? I should have picked her up that night!”
Garrett sighed loudly. “Yes, you were supposed to. But you didn’t. Your sister also should have tried to call you or tried to get a ride off of someone else. She did not need to walk home, especially in bad weather. I know your father has blamed you for this and I know you have blamed yourself all these years. You need to let this go, let it all go. Forgive yourself.”
“I can’t let go.”
“You must.” The rain began to pick up in intensity, their clothes already quite soaked. Despite that, Garrett grabbed her hand, preventing her from leaving and led her closer to the burial site. “Look around you Caitlyn. Your father is gone. This is your opportunity. Go to Hanna’s grave and make your amends with your sister.”
Caitlyn turned around wildly realizing they were indeed alone. In a quiet whisper she stated, “They are gone. They are all gone. I have no one left.”
“That is not true.” Garrett lifted her head with his index finger, his eyes searching hers. “You have me. You will always have me, okay? I’ll be here for you.”
And Garrett knew that he would. He would stay her mentor, her friend, or her lover if she wanted it, no matter in what capacity, as long as she needed it. It scared him to know he was falling for someone. Garrett had mutual fun with women, but he did not get attached. And here he was, not even involved in that sense, and he was developing feelings he should certainly not be having.
Without another word, Caitlyn walked over to where Hanna Young’s final resting place was.