blown. But still. The instinct was supposed to be accurate.
“I don’t understand something, though,” Liam said, his brows furrowing. “I was Fewsed to her for six months and never had this overload of emotions. Why isn’t it still like that?”
“Because her presence in your life kept you anchored. Talking to her, holding her, was a type of outlet. Once she was cut completely from your life, there was no way to relieve the pressure.”
Aidan sat up straighter. Was she saying what he thought she was?
Liam tilted his head. “Are you saying I could be a rejected shifter, but feel normal, if Ava was still in my life?”
Aidan leaned forward, his complete attention on her. Not that Jaylin refusing to complete the bonding was ideal, but, for now, he could compromise. She glanced at him again, as though she knew his train of thought.
She didn’t look back at Liam, but directed the words straight at Aidan. “When a shifter bonds himself to a female and she sticks around but refuses to reciprocate the bonding, yes, he can be happy…while she’s alive. If the bonding is not completed, when the mate dies, the ramifications hit tenfold.”
Liam shot to his feet. “What the hell do you mean?”
She grimaced at his outburst, and peered up at him. “I’m sorry, Liam, but when Ava dies, the connection you feel will be different from what a fully Fewsed shifter does.”
“H-how different?”
“Bonded shifters retain the connection with their mates after death, it changes, but the connection is not severed. Unbonded or rejected shifters are…empty.”
Liam’s eyes widened and he swallowed as he slowly sat back down. “Empty?”
“The Fewshon is a tether that brings you together in Anavrin. Without it, she’s lost to you.”
“I—I had no idea.”
“Since it is such a rare occurrence, most shifters are unaware of the full consequences of our bonding.”
Aidan shifted in his seat, unsettled by what he’d heard. “Does that include half shifters like yourself? You’re already part of our race. You’ll automatically go to Anavrin.”
“Do you know how many shifters are there?” she asked.
“All of those who’ve died.”
“Since the beginning of time, Mr. O’Connell. Without the bond, there is no guarantee a shifter will be with his unbonded mate.”
He noticed she didn’t say that he wouldn’t be with her. Kept it clinical, distant, letting him know his place. He sat forward. “What happens to a shifter who has found his mate, but never Fewses himself to her?”
If she wanted to keep things detached, he could too, but he really wanted to know what would happen to him if he never marked her.
“There is a possibility he can find someone else to care for.”
“Care for, but not love?”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
He shot to his feet. “You’re sorry? You’re my mate. I’m as certain of that as I am that I stand before a woman who is scared shitless to accept me as her mate.”
She stood, crossing her arms over her chest. “Scared isn’t even a factor here, Aidan. I’ve worked with the dark side of the shifter’s bond for years. I’ve already told you I want no part of it. None. If that means I refuse to allow you to bond to me, to keep you from living a dark and disillusioned life, then so be it. You can find someone else.”
“To care for! How could I ever care for another woman after knowing you are my mate? How could I ask another woman to be with me and not offer her the eternity I’m capable of giving?”
“I’ve seen it happen and the shifter lead a content life.”
“Content? I don’t want fucking content.”
“It’s better than living your life struggling to stay sane. You should be thanking me. I’m keeping you from living hell on earth. I’m keeping you from becoming a walking carcass if I die.”
Liam jerked to his feet. Aidan blinked, having completely forgotten his friend in the room. “Liam. Man. I’m sorry.”
Jaylin gasped and spun around. “Oh God, Liam, I’m so sorry.”
His friend shook his head, waving his hand. “Stop. Just…stop.” Then he left the room, a door slamming a few seconds later.
Jaylin spun on him, her teeth bared. “You never should’ve been in here!” She snatched her briefcase off the floor.
He stepped toward her. “Jaylin—
“No!” She pointed at him. “I let you stay because Liam wanted you to, and he needs the support right now, not you. I should’ve known you’d somehow make this about you.”
It was all his fault? Fuck that.
“You come in here with your ‘rather be married to