are it for me. I love you, and I want you to love me back.”
Just then a tear splashed down onto the back of my hand that Aiden was holding in his lap. I glanced up and met his eyes, surprised to see the streak of moisture running down his face. I’d never seen Aiden cry before.
I didn’t understand. He was so sad. It was as if somehow I’d just broken his heart.
“Avery, I am so sorry.” His voice had a sort of helplessness to it. “I—I didn’t know. You never said—you never acted like—I assumed it was the same for us. You’re my best friend, but that’s it. I don’t think of you that way.”
Moisture was gathering in my eyes now too. I blinked and a tear fell down my cheek. “How do you know if you’ve never given it a chance?” I squeezed his hand and mustered up every ounce of courage I had in me. “Will you kiss me, Aiden? Please? Just once? Maybe that’s all you need. Maybe if we kissed, you’d feel what I feel.”
Aiden closed his eyes. When he shook his head, it looked as if the action caused him pain. “I’m sorry, Aves, but I can’t. I have a girlfriend now.”
“You . . .”
Who knew a heart could break twice? This time it was so bad I didn’t even feel it. I didn’t feel anything. I actually stopped crying. It was like his confession just . . . broke me.
“Mindy Perez,” Aiden whispered. “We were partners all semester in public speaking and . . . it just happened the last day of school.”
Aiden had a girlfriend.
He’d left me high and dry without a science project partner, ditched me as co-president of science club, told me he needed space, bailed on me for our birthday next month, said he loved me like a twin sister, and I’d been so in denial that I actually thought I’d still stood a chance with him.
I was so stupid.
I believed it now. The second stage of grief was complete. Stage three too. I’d done enough bargaining. I’d asked him to love me, begged him to kiss me—to just give me a chance. It didn’t work, and now I was done with that. I wouldn’t do it again. Aiden Kennedy was never going to love me, and there was nothing I could do about it.
“Okay.” I shook myself and rose to my feet.
“Aves!” He tried to keep hold of my hand, but I managed to slip out of his grip. “Avery, wait! I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad.”
I stopped in the doorway and turned back to him. He was still sitting on his bed, looking every bit as upset as I felt.
“I’m not mad,” I promised, and at the time, it was true. Someone who is completely dead inside can’t be mad. They can’t really be anything.
Grayson
I totally discovered something lamer than journals. Being stuck in a condo for two days with an idiot brother that you want to pound in the face, while he’s acting all emo (As if he had any right to be depressed, the stupid jerk!), and Avery while she’s having a full-on mental breakdown. Seriously. Break. Freaking. Down. The girl turned into a zombie, complete with the limited speech abilities and glazed over eyes.
Who’d have ever thought that I would actually be glad to start school again?
I was a little anxious to see Avery. I hadn’t seen or heard from her since we left the condo. She wasn’t answering her cell phone, and I wasn’t allowed to call Kaitlin and ask. She and my mom were having the mother of all best friend fights because their children had broken each other’s hearts and, of course, in both cases, it was the other woman’s kid who was to blame for the “misunderstanding.”
I sort of felt guilty about what happened. I shouldn’t have sent Avery back to Aiden that night. I knew my brother. I knew Avery was going to get shot down, but she couldn’t see it, or had refused to see it anyway. I figured his official rejection was not just inevitable but necessary, so I let her go.
I didn’t know Aiden had a secret girlfriend bomb to drop on her. Avery would have found out soon enough anyway, and better she had a few days to cope in private instead of just being blindsided at school. But still, I couldn’t help feeling like I hadn’t protected her enough.
I sat in the cafeteria