Autumn's Wild Heart (Seasons #4) - Laura Landon Page 0,22
matter,” she said taking another swallow.
Her glass was nearly empty and he refilled it.
“Why are you as you are?”
“Now, that’s a complicated question. Probably for the same reason you are as you are.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“No doubt because your question was not a question.”
“It was, too.”
“No, it was an accusation. As if you don’t like the way I am.”
Nella looked at him and a part of her melted. His bloody handsome face was serene. There wasn’t one feature that she could find fault with, from his high cheekbones, to the square cut of his jaw, to the cleft in his chin, to his dark, penetrating eyes and his expressive brows.
Even his personality was near perfect. He was always kind to her even when she did not deserve it.
She lowered her gaze to her rounding figure, her thick arms and her never-been-willowy legs. She had nothing to recommend herself. Nothing.
She drank the rest of the wine he’d poured for her. She didn’t deserve to be his wife. She’d compromised him whether she’d intended to or not. And everyone would always know it. She would live with the shame of what she’d done for the rest of her life.
As he would live with regret for the rest of his life because of what she’d done.
She lifted her glass to her mouth, but it was empty.
He filled it for her.
“Why are you trying to lose yourself in drink?”
“I’m not,” she said taking another swallow. “I won’t.”
“I’ll remind you of that in the morning.”
He leaned back in the sofa and stretched his arm around her shoulders.
“Don’t,” Nella ordered and shrugged her shoulders to dislodge his arm.
“Don’t what?”
“Don be nice to me.”
“Is sitting on the sofa with my wife being too nice to you?”
“Yesh, you know it is.” She emptied her wine glass again. Her head was spinning and her vision blurred.
“Why is that?”
“’cause I don desherve it. Because you dinna even know who I was ‘til I…”
“You what?”
“Nothing.”
“No, Nella. You what?”
“If we wonna been found together.”
“But we were.”
“And I’m so shorry.”
“Did you drug me the night we were compromised?”
She shook her head. “You know I din.” She sighed heavily. “I’m tired, my lord. I wanna go ta bed now.”
Somehow she got to her feet and even made it to her bedchamber without her husband’s help. He followed close on her heels.
“I’ll sleep in my own bed tonight, Nella.”
“No,” she said, holding on to him. “Sleep with me. Love me.”
“You don’t want that. Not tonight.”
“I do! Yesh, James. Please.”
It was the last thing she heard before sinking into the softness of her bed. The next morning when she woke, Nella wasn’t sure if he’d slept with her or not. The only thing she knew for sure was that she felt like the wrath of God.
~■~
James gave his wife’s maid orders to let her sleep late the next morning. He knew when she woke, she’d feel horrible. And she did. He could tell by the dark circles that rimmed her bloodshot eyes when she finally came down the stairs. If her looks hadn’t confirmed how badly she felt, the fact that she couldn’t tolerate even one bite of food by lunchtime did.
“I blame you for how I feel, you know.”
“Me? Why me?”
“Yes, you. I wouldn’t have drunk nearly so much if you hadn’t continually refilled my glass.”
“That’s hardly fair, dear wife. I daresay you would have drunk even more if I hadn’t been there to stop you when I did.”
She placed her hand to her forehead.
James placed his hand on her shoulder. “May I suggest we postpone our trip to the village today, as well as taking a ride on your new horse?”
“I think that’s an excellent idea,” she said quietly. “Perhaps I’ll spend the day in my room writing letters.”
“No letters. Not today. That’s an order. Just rest. And lots of water. I’ll work on my accounts and leave you alone. Let me know if you need anything.”
“I won’t. I’m perfectly fine.”
James couldn’t help but smile. He thought of her as an essentially brave lady. With a will of iron. Drinking until she was so inebriated was totally out of character for her, as far as he knew. He would ask her later about it and hoped she’d tell him what had instigated her mood.
But he doubted she would tell him.
He worked on his ledgers all afternoon, and when his wife came down for dinner, she looked much better.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
“I think I might live,” she said.
He took her arm and led