tomorrow, I mean? Is that why you’re running so much?”
Letting out another sigh, I drop into one of the dining chairs. “Is it that obvious?” I give her a lopsided smile to show I’m not upset about the question. I work out regularly, but running like this isn’t part of my usual routine, and it’s not surprising that Alexis noticed. And I’m sure there are other tells that I’m really just a big ball of nerves.
She returns my smile with one of her own and holds up her hand, her thumb and first finger pinched together with a few millimeters of space between them. “Little bit.”
My laughter provokes a round of giggles from her, dispelling any lingering tension from our ongoing conflict about her diet. I really just need to let it go. She’s an adult. She didn’t ask my opinion. And even though, yeah, we are actually married, it’s just supposed to be a business deal. The fact that I care about her—and based on this conversation, she also cares about me—isn’t supposed to factor into anything.
Alexis adjusts her position on the couch, setting her notebooks aside, her face wrinkled in a mix of confusion and concern. “I don’t get it. Do you always get this nervous before a show?”
My smile slides off my face as my nerves resettle in my body, setting my stomach roiling and my legs jiggling. “No.” I shake my head. “This one is different, though. As a kid, I was clueless enough to not care what people thought. We’d been getting told how amazing we were for a long time, so I just thought it was an unequivocal truth. And even performing with Jonathan for his shows, those were our hits and a good chunk of his audience is former fans who’ve grown up. So that was pretty much a guaranteed good reception. But this?” I spread my hands. “This is unknown territory. And I’ve had nothing but rejection apart from Brash.”
Sympathy flits across her face. “Trust me. You’ll be great. And you know I’d tell you if I thought you’d suck.”
I flash her a grin. “Yeah. I know. And I appreciate the vote of confidence.”
“But …”
“But as much as I believe you, it doesn’t settle my nerves. The only thing that’ll make me feel better is getting tomorrow over with.”
She purses her lips and moves them back and forth, and I know she wants to say something, but she’s clearly hesitant.
I roll my hand in the air. “Spit it out. Why hold back now?”
A laugh bursts out of her, quick and sharp, but she still won’t meet my eyes as she picks at fuzz balls on the back of the loveseat. “I know I don’t have a right to say anything, but …” After hesitating a moment, she raises her eyes to mine again. “Don’t run tomorrow, okay? You need to save your energy for the show. Not exhaust yourself the day of.”
Standing, I offer her a small smile and brush my fingers across the back of her hand. “I won’t. And I appreciate the concern.” Even if you don’t like it when I reciprocate. “But you have to promise me something in return.” I’m pushing it. I know it.
“What?” The single word is full of unreserved curiosity. It’s like she doesn’t even have a suspicious bone in her body.
“Make tomorrow a cheat day and eat a little more. If I’m not allowed to run so I have enough energy for the show, you need to eat enough to have energy too.”
Her eyes narrow, and she looks almost mutinous. But I don’t back down. Don’t soft peddle it. I hold her eyes and force her to either accept or reject my proposal.
After a long moment, she lets out a breath and drops my gaze. “Fine,” she grumbles. “But nothing too crazy.”
Acting on impulse, I tip her chin up and brush a brief kiss across her lips. “I promise. Nothing too crazy. Just some extra carbs at lunch and a smoothie before the show.” And before she can answer, I head for the shower, not wanting to give her the opportunity to take back her promise or chastise me for the kiss.
I haven’t kissed her since our wedding day, and her lips are perfect. And dammit, I miss the way they feel under mine. Even if I’m not supposed to.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Alexis
We have a lazy morning of the show, sleeping in, having a leisurely breakfast. I don’t complain when Colt piles more food than normal