her guard so easily.
Damn it, damn it, damn it.
“I’m really into you, Cass. Like it or not, I am, and I don’t need any more time to know it. I thought we were on the same page there. And I want to give us a chance.”
All the air whooshed out of her lungs, and if Drew hadn’t been holding on to her, the wind might have knocked her over.
“I’m sorry, Drew.” She shook her head, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. He was a sweet guy, and she didn’t want to hurt him, but…“I thought we were just having some fun.”
The seagull that had been skulking around nearby edged closer, possibly contemplating whether it could eat their fingers if they didn’t produce any food. Cass’s gaze focused on it instead of Drew.
“So what? You’re not interested in making this exclusive?”
“I’m not interested in relationships at all. I’ve tried the romance thing and, honestly, I’m happier without it.”
She didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes, but there it was, clear as the sky above them.
His hands fell away from her, and he took a step back. “I didn’t realize—”
“No, I should have told you right up front.”
“I’d better take you home, then.”
Cass’s mouth hung open, words failing her. There had to be something she could say to fix this. Something witty, something sexy, something kind.
“We could still have dinner together.”
“I don’t see the point,” his said with a shrug. He was trying to sound casual, but beneath the light tone there was something else.
She knew that tone. She’d heard it before, and she’d used it herself. She’d hurt him worse than he was letting on.
“Drew, please don’t be upset. All I’m saying is, I’m not wired like other women. I really love being alone.”
“That’s fair, but I do have all the normal wiring. I want a relationship to go along with the sex, and I really don’t understand how you couldn’t.”
Cass’s stomach twisted. She didn’t expect him to understand, but she hated hurting him nonetheless.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way.”
She went to the car and got in, then sat staring out the window at the stunning scenery ahead. She’d gotten what she wanted, right? She’d eliminated the possibility of future complications with Drew. So why did getting what she wanted feel like total crap?
16
THE CALL CAME to Alex on his cell phone. A former colleague from the FBI called to tell him Agent Connelly had been arrested and that Yasmine had been hurt.
Of all the stupid mistakes Alex had made regarding Yasmine, this was by far the stupidest. He’d screwed up again when he’d tried to fix things, and he should have foreseen all that could go wrong.
As he raced across town to the hospital, his insides churning at the thought of Yasmine hurt, he realized how much he’d come to care for her. She wasn’t just someone he was falling in love with.
She was the one woman he’d wanted since he’d first laid eyes on her. He’d been falling in love with her for years, and knowing her now only sealed the deal. He was head over heels, and there was no way around the fact.
The words kept echoing in his head. Yasmine was shot. She’s in the E.R. at San Francisco General.
She’d been shot. That horrible fact played itself over and over in his mind. She was recovering, but she’d been shot, and Alex had failed to protect her, had led Connelly right to her, had endangered Yasmine’s life with his own desire for her.
How badly was she hurt? How long would it take her to recover? He imagined the worst—imagined internal damage worse than their hopeless love affair could ever have caused, worse than anyone would want to reveal over the phone.
And the thought of her lying in the hospital injured caused his chest to grow tight, his throat to constrict, his breath to be fast and shallow.
By the time he found Yasmine in the E.R., resting with her leg, arm and face bandaged, he’d already managed to scare himself half to death with her imagined injuries.
When she spotted him in the doorway, she didn’t smile, but she didn’t alert security, either. “Hi,” she said without any emotion.
He was at the side of her bed instantly. “What happened?”
“Oh, nothing much. Just got myself kidnapped, shot in the leg and had to jump out of a moving car.”
“It was Connelly, wasn’t it?”
She nodded. “I was dumb