stares at me, a curious expression on his face. “You think I cut you out over . . . ? Jolene.” He stops, like he can’t even find the words.
“Then what?” I demand. “What did I do that was so bad, you couldn’t even send a damn e-mail? We were friends! You were everything!”
I catch my own words too late. Trust me to only realize what I’ve got when he’s gone, to ache for a boy I came so close to having. “Look, you don’t want to be here. You’ve made that clear,” I add, before he can register what I said. “Why did you even come?”
“Because someone’s got to keep you from screwing up your entire life.” Dante flings the words at me, accusing.
I gape.
“Jesus, Jolene, what the hell are you doing?” He gestures around angrily. “Breaking and entering — this is a felony. You’re not a minor anymore — you’ll get real time for sure!”
“My dad won’t press charges,” I shoot back. “And where do you even get off playing law-abiding citizen? I was right there with you for those stunts we used to pull.”
“I remember. What do you think I was doing all that time?” He’s mad now, for real: fists clenched by his sides and those dark eyes blazing. “Watching out, making sure you didn’t get caught, trying everything to keep you away from the real trouble.”
I blink. “What are you talking about?”
“You think I would have been pulling that crap without you?” He looks at me with a strange mix of exasperation and pity. “Sure, it was fun in the beginning, but we’re not kids anymore. I was trying to keep you safe.”
“So why did you shut me out?” I demand, spiteful. “Why did you start ignoring me like that? Did you want me to fall?”
“I wanted you to grow the hell up!” Dante yells suddenly. “You think I should have stayed, thrown my life away on you, on this?” He gestures around at the dark building on somebody else’s property. “I’m not some pretty white girl who can bat her eyelashes and get away with community service. Hell, I’m more likely to wind up in prison than ever get through college!”
I feel guilt slap me, hard. “You never said.” My voice shakes.
“I know.” He gives me this faint smile that almost breaks my heart. “I tried, so many times, but then . . .” Dante shrugs. “I can’t say no to you, Jolene. I just had to make it so you couldn’t ask me at all.”
I catch my breath, trying to understand, to rearrange all my memories to see this new version of things.
“I thought maybe, if I wasn’t around . . .” Dante starts. “If you had to deal with it all on your own . . . But you haven’t changed at all, have you? You’re still so self-destructive, you don’t care who you hurt.”
“I’m not hurting anyone.” I clench my jaw, my fists, my everything to keep it together.
“Oh, yeah?” Dante gives me a faded smile, and for a terrible moment, I can see myself from his perspective. Falling apart at the seams.
“It’s my life,” I manage to say, hating him. “I can do what the hell I want with it.”
Dante’s face changes. “But don’t you see — this is your shot now, your chance to get out, and you’re risking it all for what? Some meaningless payback that won’t change a thing.”
I shake my head. “You don’t know what he did.”
“I know he doesn’t love you.” Dante says it low and clear. “At least, not the way you need. I know he left, and let you down, but how is that ever going to change? You think you’ll hurt him, but you’re the only one getting hurt here.”
My mouth drops open. I’m coming apart; I can feel it — every word splintering into me until I don’t know how I’m still standing. It’s too much; I knew it was. It’s all too much.
“Jolene.” His voice softens and he pulls me closer. For a brief second, I’m in his arms, like I belong there. “You don’t have to do this,” he murmurs, holding me tight. “Every time he lets you down, you can just let go. Don’t —”
“Stop!” I break, pushing him away. “What the hell do you even care? I never asked you to do this, I never wanted you to save me!”
My words are sharp and fierce, echoing in the empty building.
Dante looks at me for a long moment.