clients today, and I have no idea how I’m going to summon the energy to haul my case around the city and make small talk.
I wonder if the survey will continue where it left of when I return to the classroom tomorrow. Or maybe Dr. Shields will let me skip that last question and give me a new one.
I turn the final corner and my apartment building comes into view. I unlock the main door, tugging it hard behind me until I hear the latch click into place. I drag myself up the four flights of stairs and unlock my door, then collapse onto my futon. Leo jumps up and curls next to me; sometimes he seems to sense when I need comfort. I adopted him almost on a whim a couple of years ago when I stopped in to an animal shelter to look at the cats. He wasn’t barking or whining. He was just sitting in his cage, looking at me, like he’d been waiting for me to show up.
I set the alarm on my phone to ring in an hour, then rest my hand on his small, warm body.
As I lie there, I begin to wonder if it was worth it. I wasn’t prepared for how intense the experience would be, or how many different emotions would engulf me.
I roll onto my side and close my heavy eyes, telling myself that I’ll feel better once I’ve rested.
I don’t know what could happen tomorrow, what new things Dr. Shields will ask. No one is forcing me to do this, I remind myself. I could pretend I overslept. Or I could pull a Taylor and simply not show up.
I don’t have to go back, I think right before I sink into oblivion.
But I know I’m only lying to myself.
CHAPTER
FOUR
Saturday, November 17
You told a lie, which is an ironic entrance into a study on morality and ethics. Quite entrepreneurial, too.
You were not a substitute for the eight A.M. appointment.
The original participant called to cancel at 8:40 A.M., explaining she had overslept, long after you were escorted into the testing room. Still, you were allowed to continue, because by then you had proven to be an intriguing subject.
First impressions: You are young; your license confirmed that you are twenty-eight. Your chestnut-brown curls are long and a tad unruly, and you are clad in a leather jacket and jeans. You don’t wear a wedding ring, but a trio of slim silver bands is stacked on your index finger.
Despite your casual appearance, there’s a professionalism about your manner. You did not carry a to-go coffee cup and yawn and rub your eyes, like some of the other early morning subjects. You sat up straight, and you did not sneak glances at your phone between questions.
What you revealed during your initial session, and what you didn’t intentionally reveal, were equally valuable.
A subtle theme began to emerge from your very first answer that set you apart from the fifty-one other young women evaluated thus far.
First you described how you could tell a lie to appease a client and secure a better tip.
Then you wrote about canceling a night out with a friend, not for last-minute concert tickets or a promising date, as most of the others did. Your mind returned to the prospect of work instead.
Money is vitally important to you. It appears to be an underpinning of your ethical code.
When money and morality intersect, the results can illuminate intriguing truths about human character.
People are motivated to break their moral compasses for a variety of primal reasons: survival, hate, love, envy, passion. And money.
More observations: You put your loved ones first, as evidenced by the information you withhold from your parents to protect them. Yet you describe yourself as an accessory in an act that could destroy another relationship.
It was the question you didn’t answer, though, the one you struggled with as you scraped at your nails, that holds the most intrigue.
This test can free you, Subject 52.
Surrender to it.
CHAPTER
FIVE
Saturday, November 17
My power nap pushes away thoughts about Dr. Shields and his strange test. A cup of strong coffee helps me turn my focus onto my clients, and by the time I arrive back at my apartment after work, I almost feel like myself again. The idea of another session tomorrow doesn’t seem daunting anymore.
I even have the energy to tidy up, which mostly consists of gathering the clothes that are heaped on the back of a chair and hanging them in my closet. My