soldiers consumed them when they wanted to unwind. Jiro hadn’t put them in our picnic basket by mistake. He was trying to help us break down our barriers, to open up and get to know each other.
I offered the Nectar bottle to Damiel. He shook his head.
I had to admit I was disappointed that he didn’t want to lose control.
“What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?” I asked him.
“I once asked Nyx out on a date.”
Pineapple juice shot out of my nose.
He calmly handed me a napkin.
“And what did the First Angel say?” I asked, wiping up the pineapple juice.
“She turned me down, of course,” he replied instantly and without a shred of emotion, like the confession didn’t bother him at all.
“Did this happen recently?”
“No. The incident transpired a few months into my voluntary four years of servitude at the Legion, before I could officially join,” he said, as though delivering an official mission report. “I was growing restless from the waiting and thought I could speed up the process.”
“By propositioning the First Angel?” I asked in surprise.
“It wasn’t my proudest moment. I had been training hard and was quite fond of my physique. I’d had some success charming a number of ladies, so I was overconfident. Even arrogant. I thought I could charm an angel. Nyx made it clear how very wrong I was.”
“Maybe she was tempted by your offer,” I suggested.
“I highly doubt it.” He spoke without inflection. “Ok, my turn.”
“Fire away, Colonel,” I said and took a bite from my dinner roll.
“What was your first thought when Nyx ordered you to marry me?”
I nearly choked on my roll. “Getting the easy questions out of the way first, I see.”
“Do you wish to be released from our agreement?”
I swallowed down the rest of my roll. “No, you answered my question, no matter how impertinent it was. I’m not going back on my promise.”
“Good.” He folded his hands together and waited.
I uncapped the glass bottle and took a few drops of the Nectar I’d offered Damiel. Well, it turned out that I was the one who needed it.
“How did I feel when Nyx ordered me to marry you… I was shocked, of course. And then, well… I guess I was glad that at least I was being married to someone I could stand…no, wait. That’s not what I mean.
“What I meant to say is you looked out for me, you protected me, even though it was your duty to turn me in. And I know that was all an illusion, but we both thought it was real. It did show what kind of person you truly are inside. And I liked what I saw. I wanted to see more of that person, to get to know you better.
“So I guess I was glad when Nyx ordered us to marry. And I was also kind of scared. Because you’re…well, you. You have this big, bad reputation, and even though I know you’re a good person, I wasn’t sure you’d want to get to know me, if maybe you’d view my presence as annoying. I didn’t know if you’d only protected me because you thought it was the right thing to do, not because you cared about me at all. Or at least not in that way.
“And I figured I would probably just make a fool of myself if I asked you about it, which I just can’t do. That’s not me. I’m supposed to be perfect. I’m supposed to always say the right thing, always do the right thing.
“And then I did make a fool of myself after our mission on the Sienna Sea, when I kissed you just like that. Or at least I thought I’d made a fool of myself until you kissed me back.
“But then again, maybe you were just humoring me. Or, worse yet, you were toying with me, making fun of me for being so…so not perfect and not at all collected and composed. And for having this ridiculous, girlish crush on you.
“I was thinking of you in those days since our first mission. You were in my thoughts, and I just didn’t know why. And here I am again making a fool of myself.”
I knew I was babbling, but I couldn’t seem to stop once I’d started. And only at the end, when the waterfall of words stopped gushing out of my mouth, did I dare lift my gaze to meet his eyes.
After a long silence that seemed to stretch into the middle