Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. It was the lack of knowing that was so – so damned annoying! Even the thought of the forbidden word made her smile.
“Damn,” she whispered, even though the house was empty. “Damn, damn, damn.”
The small rebellion gave her no relief. If Miss Lloyd was indeed with child, then Charles’s actions made perfect sense. He would have to marry her, there was no question about it. He was too much of a gentleman to even consider leaving her alone to face the world.
And the child – her stomach swooped painfully – would be his. Charles’s child. It could look like him, the same smile, the small twinkle in the eyes…
Priscilla forced herself to sit up like a lady. It did her no good attempting to guess how Charles had betrayed her, why he had made such promises, and then rescinded them.
He would have acted differently, of course, if they had been incautious. If they had not protected themselves.
She placed her hands on her stomach. There was no life there, no fluttering movement of a child growing. A small part of her wished they had not been so careful. If she had fallen with a child…
“No,” she said firmly. “No, Priscilla. You would never have tried to entrap him.”
Probably, she thought silently. Her love for him notwithstanding, she could not imagine a world in which they were married, but he had felt trapped by her actions.
She wanted him to want her! Was that so very difficult?
The sun disappeared again, dropping the room into shadow. A flicker of light in a looking glass on the wall reminded her of the flickering candlelight at the Donal wedding.
That was where it had all started, the Donal wedding. She had spoken with Miss Lloyd for the first time, and that conversation had sparked all her actions. The engagement picnic, the walks, the way she dressed…
It had all seemed so funny at the time. A witty, clever way to ensure she gained Charles all for herself without anyone getting hurt. It had seemed possible then, what was it – only a few weeks ago?
Priscilla swallowed. Frances had not wanted him, so what was the harm in Priscilla having him?
But it had all gone wrong, and in ways, she could never have predicted. What had she achieved, other than to hurt everyone?
Just as she rose to trudge up the stairs, the door opened and almost slammed into the wall.
“Aha, I thought I would find you here!”
Priscilla stared. It was Miss Ashbrooke, beaming and removing her bonnet for what was intended to be, clearly, a visit.
“And you know, ’tis quite shocking in my opinion that such an eligible young lady is at home during visiting hours,” Miss Ashbrooke continued, evidently unconcerned that she had been neither invited nor welcomed. “Just why are you not with your mother, Miss Seton?”
Priscilla swallowed. The last thing she wanted was to sit here and exchange pleasantries for half an hour with Miss Ashbrooke, but at least her guest would do most of the talking.
“Miss Ashbrooke,” she said, curtsying. “If I had indeed gone to town with my mother, then I would not have been here for you to find me. What a shame that would have been.”
“Very pretty, but hardly beside the point now, is it?” Miss Ashbrooke said breezily, laying down her spencer jacket and bonnet on a table. “And where are all your servants? It was a good thing I tried the door, for otherwise –”
“Miss Priscilla?” A face peered around the door, nervous eyes and a wide mouth open in surprise at seeing Miss Ashbrooke.
“Ah, Mrs. Busby,” Priscilla said with relief. “You have returned, and not a moment too soon. Miss Ashbrooke has just arrived, and we –”
“We require cake, and a good deal amount of tea,” Miss Ashbrooke interrupted, moving across the drawing room and seating herself without being invited. “Thank you.”
Mrs. Busby looked instinctively at Priscilla, who nodded wearily. It was going to be a tiresome visit, but even Miss Ashbrooke would not be so rude and stay beyond the socially acceptable half an hour.
“Your health, my dear? Is it good?”
Priscilla lowered herself slowly onto the settee opposite Miss Ashbrooke.
“Yes, thank you,” she said quietly. “And how are –”
“Oh, yes, I am very well,” Miss Ashbrooke said with a smile. “It does me a world of good, you know, to see all my charges find happy matches. I am working on another, which I truly think will bring great joy to both families. I am