gone off, ranting like a lunatic. It unsettled her that she’d been staring at John but not really seeing him. She did now, and she felt foolish. Maybe she should’ve found comfort in his sympathetic brown eyes, but she had no business talking about Tommy. God, she didn’t really know John. This wasn’t like her.
“Aren’t you glad you asked?” she muttered, pushing her hands through her hair and fixing her gaze on the countertop.
“Yeah, I am.” His voice seemed closer, and she dared to slide him a look. He’d left the stool and was coming toward her. “You forgot something.”
“What?”
“Tommy has you.”
“Does that go in the plus or minus column?”
John put his arms around her. “I assume that’s rhetorical.”
“Not really. I should be helping him to live an independent life instead of enabling him.” She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his chest under her palms, his arms around her back. “Technically I’m the one who’ll be leaving, but he has to be able to stand on his own.”
“Do you think he can?”
“I know he can, but he doesn’t believe it. I think he’s in denial about me leaving after school.”
“Good thing he has Lisa.” John tucked her head under his chin and stroked her back.
“If he doesn’t blow it. She loves him, but she has her limits.” Cassie didn’t know John well enough to feel this safe and content with her cheek pressed to his heart. If anything she should feel guilty for not shutting up. But she hadn’t realized how much she’d bottled up and it felt good to unload. There was only so much she could say to Lisa. For as long as she’d known Gordon and Spider and some of the others, Cassie would never have this conversation with one of them.
Sadly, she couldn’t even discuss Tommy with her parents. They cared, of course, but in an odd, detached way. She’d never really understood them. Other than the fact that they put each other first, and she and Tommy came second. It wasn’t a guess. When Cassie was ten, her mother had come out and said as much.
“When the time comes, will you be ready to cut the strings?” John asked, his breath stirring her hair.
“Absolutely.” She looked up at him. “I hope.”
“Luckily, today you don’t have to think about that. But you do have to study.”
“Here I was thinking we could’ve spent all this time kissing.” Her stomach did a flip-flop at his strained smile. Had she ruined everything by complaining about Tommy?
John left her at the counter. While she finished straightening the rest of the kitchen, he quizzed her. He kept their focus narrow, and kissed her only once more. On the cheek, on his way out the door.
8
“WOW, YOU MUST NOT have done laundry in a while.” Beth reached across the bar and grabbed one of the bowls of pretzels Cassie was filling. “You look nice. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything but a T-shirt.”
“Yep, gotta get to the Laundromat,” Cassie muttered. Not true, but this was the fourth time she’d been accused of not washing her clothes, or something to that effect.
It had started off with Lisa, and since Cassie was irritable from too little sleep, insufficient studying and the certainty she’d totally messed up her exam, she’d decided not to tell Lisa about having John over last night. Of course it was childish. Keeping Lisa in the dark hardly served as a punishment, since Lisa didn’t know she was missing out on anything. Somehow it made Cassie feel better anyway.
Besides, if she did talk to Lisa, then she’d have to admit she had no idea where things stood between her and John. Even worse, not knowing bothered her far too much. Especially because it was 10:00 p.m. and he hadn’t shown up.
He never had asked for her phone number, or volunteered his. While he knew where she lived and worked, she only knew he was a captain stationed at Nellis and that was it. He obviously wanted the information flowing one way, and she was annoyed at herself for bothering to iron her yellow cotton sleeveless blouse just in case he’d show up for a beer.
Damn it, she should’ve dragged him to bed last night while she’d had the chance. She might as well have, considering he was the reason she’d probably get a C.
The beginning of the test had gone off without a hitch. Then panic had crept in, which she’d actually managed by focusing on