have all agreed that we are in the right. But now that I know her, have held her, and have been inside her, I feel to the depths of my soul that we must do more.
“It’s okay. I understand. I might not be an expert on weapons or time travel. But how could we expect you to sacrifice your entire society to save us?”
“Everything is different now. I can no longer think in terms of cold hard facts. Not anymore. Not now that I love you.”
“I don’t blame you. I don’t. And the truth is that if this was the only way that I could be with you…”
“Don’t say it. I hate to think of you choosing between me and your life, your family, your world. It’s not right.”
I feel a tear drip on my chest, and she sniffles. I wrap my arms around her, holding her more tightly and kiss the top of her head.
“I know it isn’t. But it’s the reality I have to live with.”
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry what the Mantises did to your home. To my ancient home. Everyone on Mars mourns the death of Earth. The decision not to intervene was a hotly debated topic for decades. It still is.”
“Jaxxo.” She begins to cry softly, and I caress her hair.
I wish I hadn’t brought up the subject, but it is like a weight between us that must be relieved. I need her forgiveness, or I will never be able to forgive myself or anyone else. I love Mars. It is my home. And I have dedicated my entire life to this mission.
But now that she is here and real and breathing, I cannot think as I once did. I know that I must repent to my beloved in some way. But laying my own guilt upon her shoulders is just as unfair as the choice Mars had to make.
“It was the only way. It was the only way we knew we could succeed.” I let out a deep breath and stare at the ceiling with her cuddled against my chest, her hair sweeping over my cheek.
“I can accept that. I want you to know. I know it’s unfair, and I know it hurts, and I know I shouldn’t have to choose between you and Earth. But I do accept that it was your only choice. You saved us from certain death.” She gazes up at me, and our eyes meet in the hazy darkness. The glint in the deep pools of her eyes shines like a beacon in the night.
I sigh deeply as I try to accept forgiveness and understanding. Alleviating the guilt of the choices of my people seems too easy. And part of me wants to continue to bask in my own shame. But in honor of her forgiveness, I choose to let it go.
28
“I love him more than anything. And it’s not just because I’m uncontrollably horny around him. That part doesn’t make any difference anymore.”
“Are you sure?” Bethany asks me, taking a sip of tea.
She’s come to visit me at Jaxxo’s house while he’s away on council business.
“I have searched my heart and soul a thousand times. I have hated him for his betrayals, and I have kept myself away from him just so that I could know. But it isn’t just my body’s reaction. He is here inside me.” I press my hand against my heart.
“I believe you. You’ve never been particularly good at choosing men. But this one was chosen for you,” she says with a wink.
“Ha ha.” I sip my tea and smirk. She’s right. Jaxxo was chosen for me to be a perfect match to make a perfect child. But little did anyone know that our hearts would also be a perfect union.
“I can’t wait to get mine,” Bethany says, wistfully gazing out the windows at the sea outside.
“Considering how long it’s taking everyone else to be matched, I’m surprised that Jaxxo and I were paired so easily.”
“Well, it’s new technology. They haven’t had much practice using it. But I’ve heard that a few other girls in the bridal house have been matched.”
“How is that going?”
“Both good and bad,” Bethany says. “It’s mostly rumors. I want to hear the good stuff. Bobby only wants to hear the bad.”
“How is Bobby getting along with Madeline?”
She groans and rolls her eyes. “My God. If I have to listen to one more argument between those two… You’d think that Bobby was the one who’d lost a sister. You