a short time and I questioned whether he was worth all of this drama. I quickly decided he was.
"I like Samson." I looked up at her as I said my words, and her eyes immediately filled with tears.
"You might like him, but it doesn't compare to what I have with him." Aubrey whispered her declaration as a tear spilled onto her cheek.
"Can I ask you something?"
Aubrey nodded her head, her eyes downcast onto her lap.
"Are you sure you still love Samson? Or is it the thought of not having him there anymore that scares you?" The way Samson explained things to me, Aubrey had changed lately, and he fell out of love. I wasn't sure if Aubrey had gotten over him, or if she were the type of person that would hold onto something even if it was hanging by a thread.
"I don't know what Samson has told you, but I'll always love him. I'm sure you see how easy it is to fall for him."
Aubrey was right. It was very easy to fall for Samson. He had a way about him that made you feel protected. Samson could easily make your stomach turn, but then put the biggest smile on your face, making you forget about the narcissistic comment he had made. While in my reverie, I realized just how much I cared for Samson, how deep I was already invested, and how it was wrong because across from me was the girl he would probably end up with.
"I'm obviously clueless," I muttered to myself.
"What?"
I took a drink from the glass sitting in front of me. The faint taste of lemon surged through my dry throat. "You're right. I could never fill that void of first love." I stood up, putting my jacket on. "I'm sorry." I shook my head as I bounded away from the table and out of the cafe.
Who was I kidding? I'd been living in a daydream if I thought I could compete with Aubrey. She was his whole life for eighteen years. I was pretty much a stranger. I grabbed my phone and texted a response to Samson.
"Meet me at the library in ten minutes. We need to talk."
The text from Natalia was cryptic. I was supposed to meet her in a few hours, but she wanted to meet now. I threw on a light sweater and some jeans, and headed for the library. I walked in and saw Natalia sitting on a bench. Her face was ashen. I sat down and wrapped my arms around her waist.
"Are you okay? Are you not feeling well?" I tried to touch her forehead but she swatted it away.
"Samson, stop."
I put my hand in my lap, lacing my fingers together. I was nervous. Something seemed off. Natalia wouldn't look at me. Her eyes stayed on her lap.
"Natalia–" I started to speak, but she cut me off.
"We can't do this," Natalia whispered.
I barely heard her words. "What did you just say?"
Finally, her eyes met mine. The spark I was used to seeing was gone.
"I was kidding myself when I thought we could do this." Her hand motioned between us. "We can't. I can't."
"What can't you do?" Her decision threw me for a loop. Just hours ago, she was in my bed, wrapped in my sheets, smothered to my side. What had changed since then?
"What I'm trying to say is that this thing between us is not going to work. It's conflicting with why I came to Juilliard in the first place." The emotion in her voice ran thin. "I'm here to dance, not to fall in love." Was she in love with me? Her eyes ran back to her lap as she bit the corner of her lip.
"Are you afraid of falling in love with me?" I took her hand in mine. That had to be the reason she was pushing me away. She was afraid I'd hurt her.
"Very much so," she replied, her eyes still avoiding mine.
My fingers ran over her smooth skin and my thoughts went back to this morning. While our bodies were pressed against one another, the same thought kept ricocheting through my mind. Was I falling in love with her? I knew I liked her. But love? My heart thumped in my chest, answering the question that refused to go away. Yes, I was falling in love with her.
"What are you so afraid of? Explain it to me." My hands stayed wrapped around hers tightly. If I let go, I was afraid she'd