think I’m the crazy one.
Chapter 11
Finn
Finn O’Hare. O Hare Finn F F F O H H A R E. I flip the page and see more of the same. It appears my girl is somewhat of a good learner and her current inspiration is my name. Ordinarily, I would view this as a sign of interest. But Lucky is confusing to me. Also, I don’t screw things up.
ME: You around
Rydell: Are you giving the foundation more money because if so, yes
I’m not but I call him anyway.
“How much of a check are you writing out?” He barks into the phone.
“That even a hello? I don’t get any foreplay? You just gonna go in dry?”
“You’re not going to give me any money, are you?” Rydell sighs.
“You know me so well. It’s almost as if we were childhood friends.”
“Sounds fake to me. I can’t imagine being friends with an asshole like you. What did you call for anyway?”
I swing my feet up onto the desk and lean back into my chair. “If you find a notebook that has your name written in it multiple times, do you assume that the writer is open and receptive to your advances?”
“Hold on. I need to check what year it is. I kind of feel like we’ve traveled back in time to our preschool days.”
“Ha ha,” I fake laugh. “Why did I think calling you was a good idea?”
“Probably because I’m the only friend that you have.”
“That’s not true. I have hundreds of names in my contacts app.”
“We’re not talking about the number of people who would be willing to answer the phone because you are Finn O’Hare,” he unnecessarily clarifies, “but the number of people that would stand by you if you were Finn Johnson.”
“Isn’t Finn Johnson a famous golfer? I swear I saw him on the television two weekends ago and you texted me and said,” I pause to scroll up. When I find the message, I read it aloud, “‘Since when is Finn a popular name? I thought your parents were the only ones dumb enough to name you Finn’ and then I replied, ‘That’s rich coming from someone named Rydell.’”
A deep, long-suffering exhale blows through the phone. “This is why I am your only friend.”
“I thought it was actually because people are afraid that if they talk to me I’ll become interested in their company and want to take it over.”
“That, too. Since we have established that I am your only friend, because I am a good and kind person and out of the bigness of my heart--”
“Is bigness a word?” I interrupt to ask.
“We just went over that I’m your only friend. Do you really think it makes sense to question my word choice?”
“Wow. Wow. Wow,” I reply in mock alarm. “I can’t believe that me caring about how you look in front of possible donors and grant recipients is deemed offensive.”
“Did you call me to bust my balls or for some other reason?”
“Can’t it be both?”
Rydell’s response is drawn-out silence. I give in because he is one of my closest friends and because I’m in desperate need of advice.
“Remember the woman from the restaurant?”
“There are so many women in restaurants these days that want to be Mrs. Finn O’Hare. Can you be more specific?”
“The one who slapped me.” I tap my cheek in remembrance.
“Ah, yes, the brunette in black. She is my favorite person, you know.”
“Good. Bring two dozen pink flowers to my office.”
“This response triggers so many questions.”
I can tell he’s intrigued. “She works for me now.”
Rydell’s laugh is so loud I have to pull the phone away from my ear. When he finally stops for a breath, I interject, “So you see my dilemma.”
“How many times has Monica told you to keep your hands to yourself?”
“Only once verbally, but I was given a gigantic book on all the dos and don’ts of office romance. For the record, there are five thousand and ten don’ts and one do.”
“What’s the do?”
“Do be mindful of your actions at all times. It starts out the tome, in fact.”
This sets off Rydell again. While he gasps for air, I page through the notebook again. On the second page there are some hearts, but they are crossed through. I don’t find any skull or crossbones, which I find encouraging. My gut tells me she’s interested despite the slapping, the water pouring, and her general tendency to avoid me in the office as much as an assistant possibly can.
“You have the girl of your dreams