know enough to really help. She repeated the few things Michael had told her, that he was working on a story that dealt with drug trafficking, that he had made connections with people in Colombia. He had hinted they were linked to people here. As upset as she was, she couldn’t think of anything more. She could hardly remember her own name.
She swallowed, tried not to think of Michael’s smiling face the last time she had seen him, or the brutalized face in the morgue. “He said...said the story could be big. That’s all I know.”
Castillo asked a few more questions, but it was clear Michael hadn’t really confided in her.
“I wish I knew something more helpful. I should have paid more attention.” But much of the time they had been together, she had been thinking of Ben.
“You did the best you could,” Castillo said.
“What...what about his body?”
“Will you be handling the funeral arrangements?”
“No. I—I can give you his parents’ phone number. They live in California. They’ll want to claim the body and make arrangements for the...the funeral.”
And they wouldn’t want anything to do with her. Not since she and Michael had ended their relationship. They faulted her entirely for the breakup.
Castillo shoved to his feet. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Claire swallowed, nodded. Ben helped her out of her chair and guided her into the hall. She felt weak and disoriented, slightly sick to her stomach.
“I came with Sage and Annie,” she said. But they were already gone.
“I’m taking you to my house.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want Sam to see me like this.” Her face tear-streaked, her makeup smudged. “He’s had enough grief. Please, Ben.”
He clenched his jaw. He knew she was right. As soon as they got into his car, he phoned his house. He told Mrs. McKenzie he would be late getting home and asked the babysitter to spend the night.
Ben drove her back to her apartment and escorted her up to her door, took her key and let her in. He led her down the hall to her bedroom and began to strip off her clothes. She stopped him before she was completely naked.
“I can’t, Ben. Not tonight.”
He stepped back as if she’d given him another slap. “Jesus, Claire, do you really think I’m that bad? Don’t you know by now, I’d never do anything to hurt you?”
Not on purpose. She knew that. She went into his arms and they closed tightly around her. Her heart ached with love for him.
For long moments, they just stood there, Ben holding on to her, Claire with her head on his shoulder. He tipped her chin up, brushed a soft kiss over her lips then moved off in search of something for her to wear. He found her nightshirt, handed it to her and turned away while she unhooked her bra and pulled it on. Drawing back the covers, he waited while she slid between the sheets.
“Try to get some sleep. I’ll be out on the sofa if you need anything.”
“You don’t...don’t have to stay.”
“Yeah, I do.” He started for the door, then turned back and paused. “Were you still in love with him?”
She swallowed, tried not to see Michael’s shattered, bludgeoned face. “No. We were just friends.”
Some of the hardness left his features. His shoulders seemed less tense as he walked out the door.
Fatigue washed over her. She was tired clear to her bones. Yet every time she closed her eyes, she saw Michael’s face, the crushed bones, the cigarette burns, the hole where his ear had been cut away.
Her stomach rolled. She was afraid she might be sick. She must have made a sound because Ben appeared in the doorway.
“You all right?”
She tried to nod but a sob welled up in her throat. Ben didn’t hesitate, just walked over and climbed into bed beside her. Stretching out on top of the covers, he pulled her into his arms.
Time seemed to blur. She could feel the warmth of his hard body, hear his even breathing. As her eyes drifted closed, she felt safe and protected. The odd thought occurred that she felt loved.
Claire wondered how that could be.
* * *
Lying on the weight bench in his study, his body drenched in sweat, Ben pressed the three-hundred-pound bar a couple more times, then set the barbell on the rack above his head. He was back to his normal workout routine, hitting it hard this morning to work off some of his frustration.
Just after dawn, he’d left Claire sleeping