my mind had created. I had seen into things that weren't there. I was swept away by a man that had never really existed and the result of my mistake was the broken shell of who I was.
I got up, not being able to sleep even though I was exhausted. I wished I could have just got in my car and kept driving until I came to an end. The end being when the hurting inside finally stopped. Coming here had been a big mistake. I was stupid to believe I could ever have belonged here! I didn't belong anywhere. I just left an aftermath of destruction in my path.... I was poison!
In the end I rang RJ telling her I wasn't feeling good and that if I felt better then I might make it in later for History. She had asked what was wrong and with the sound of my broken voice I got away with telling her it was flu. Of course, after looking at myself in the mirror, my voice wasn't the only evidence of it. I had no colour to my skin, only the red blotches that remained around my eyes making it look as if I had lost the fight. Which was right in more ways than one. My eyes were the scariest thing, as they had no whites left as it had been replaced by blood. My nose hurt around the edges from being rubbed so frequently that not much skin was left there. My lips were cracked through the constant biting making them bleed. This was so that some of my pain was directed to the outside of my body therefore relieving some from the inside.
In the end I couldn't face college as seeing Sophia again was going to be too much to bear. The wound that Draven had inflicted was still too fresh and exposed. I finally got out of bed and dressed only, without looking at the clock, I had no idea how long I had just sat there thinking about what a fool I was. Once I was dressed, things started to get clearer and I needed to make a change to get past this. After all I had come back from worse than this, hadn't I? It didn't feel like it. I might have the scars from the other “Incident” that showed on the outside as a constant reminder but Draven had also left his scars and they ran deep inside to my core. So what was worse...I knew the answer to that question.
I pulled on my father’s old college football sweater and grabbed two things before leaving. One was my car keys and the other was the picture I had drawn of Draven.
I got back in my car, driving faster than I should have been. I let the sound of the engine drown out most of my self-pitying thoughts. Jack had told me about this place and I drove in the direction that thankfully was far from Afterlife! That name...Is that what it meant? That Draven would steal my heart and my soul and this was to be my AFTERLIFE! Thinking about the pain didn't bring tears any more as if there was nothing left in me. He had taken everything and all I could do was try and resurrect myself to how I was before I had ever seen him. I had to be re-born and there was only one way I knew how to do this and it was going to be hard. A lot harder than last time...
I found the dirt road after the warning signs for cliff faces and I knew where this would lead me to, as Jack had wanted to bring me here on a picnic once. I thought of Jack for a moment, wondering how this would have all gone if I had seen him first and he had been the one in my dreams.
The road came to an end in a big semi-circle where the cars usually parked. I turned off the engine and got out. The cold hit me and the wind whipped round my face as I realised how high up I was. The cold was a good thing. It kept things clearer and I had my goal firmly set in my mind. As scared as I was of the drop below me, I walked to the edge not fully feeling the fear. After all, what did I have to fear any more, when all my fears had