small, rueful smile and shrugged a shoulder. “I think I’m a little jealous.”
Nicole wanted to laugh out loud. She’d expected…not that. “You?” Nic shook her head and reached for the bottle of gin. “You’re jealous. Of me?”
“Hmm.” Gwen hummed in confirmation and took the bottle from Nicole. She reached for the vermouth and poured them both another drink. “Of your relationship with Ava.”
Nic made a face. “Oh. Oh, gross. Ava and I are totally platonic.” She stuck her tongue out. “Ew.”
Gwen actually looked amused. “No, I don’t mean… You have history. You…you know her in ways that I…” Gwen made a little sound of frustration. “I’m usually a lot more articulate than this.”
Nic didn’t say anything. She’d never seen Gwen this sincere. It was slightly alarming. Gwen looked almost distressed as she tried to get the words right. “What I mean is…you’ve been there for her throughout it all. You were, you are an integral part of this journey she’s been on. She trusts you in ways…” Gwen trailed off and took another sip of her drink. “I treated her like a lowly assistant for years. It took me so long to see the spark that you’ve always known. Sometimes I feel like you’ll always know her better than I will. And I’m…I’m a little jealous of it.”
Nic watched her for a long time. Gwen’s cheeks were a little flushed, her eyes a little glassy. She was most definitely drunk. This was the most human, most fragile Nic had ever seen her, and while Gwen was not her type — at all — Nic could almost see who it was that Ava had fallen in love with.
She made sure she had Gwen’s full attention when she said, “You’re an idiot.”
Gwen blinked. Frowned. “Excuse me?”
“An idiot, a dolt, a simpleton,” Nic said. “Sure, I have history with Ava, and yeah, I knew her when she was all pigtails and braces. Believe me, it was not a pretty sight. But she chose you. Despite your weird work power-dynamic thing, which, by the way, I’ll never understand. Despite all the fake-dating stuff and the fact that, in the beginning, neither of you could get your heads out of your asses long enough to admit your feelings. You’re the person she chose to share her life and secrets with. For the longest time, it was just the two of us, you know? We had our families and our traditions and our stuff. We dated people, but it never really affected our lifestyle. It was different with you.” Nic took a long sip of her drink. Gwen did make a damn good martini. “It is different with you.”
Nic sighed and gritted her teeth, not wanting to make the next admission but knowing she had to. “I guess I was a little jealous too. Not of you or, or this.” She waved her arm around the room. “Although, we have got to discuss why you have not yet introduced me to Chris Evans. I am gayer than a fairy riding a unicorn, but that man…” She gave a little shiver then continued. “I…I didn’t really get why she was willing to give up so much and change so much for you. Now, after being with Soo-Mi and after tonight, I get it. And…I guess we’re both idiots.”
Gwen watched her for a long time, until Nic felt almost uncomfortable beneath the intensity of her stare. And then Gwen raised her glass and clinked it against Nic’s. “Well, cheers to that.”
After a comfortable silence settled between them, Gwen said, “You know, I think what you do is remarkable. Ava comes home and tells me about the things you’ve thought up. The ingenuity and science of it all. I play pretend on set all day, and you think of ways to better the future. You’re very impressive, Nic.”
An unexpected warmth bloomed in Nic’s chest. She did not expect Gwen’s validation to mean this much. It was stupid how much her respect meant to Nic, but here they were. And so Nic’s smile was small but genuine. “Of course I am.”
Ava was tired, sore, and ravenous when she landed on the balcony of their home. The lounge light was still on, as well as the kitchen light, which meant she wouldn’t have to worry about waking Gwen up when she fixed herself a snack. She smiled to herself, remembering the birthday cupcakes Gwen had ordered. She wondered if there was still a strawberry one.